JFC #4

In The Bleachers by Steve Moore

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Does anyone know the number........For

BPS!!!!!!

That would be Bird Protective Services. What is the deal????? First I wake up this morning to a chirp factory in my back yard. I handled it and even appreciated the chirping for a few minutes. But now its 2:45 pm and the mommy bird is freaking MIA. And these fuckers wont shut up. 

So it got me to wondering, what do mommy birds do all day. They feed their children and then they get the hell out for the day. Smart birds but not very fun for me, the new babysitter!!!!!!

Too FUNNY!

The New F***ing Citibank - watch more funny videos

Tin Truths 29

1. I am now the mom of a High Schooler!

2. I finally learned how to make my Aunt's, Macaroni and Tomatoes.

3. I quickly became addicted to " I'm a Celebrity, Get me out of here".

4. I am starting to wonder who my true friends are.

5. People from my past are coming out of the wood work.

6. I am on the hunt for a tree for my back yard, suggestions???

7. On #6, no oak=no roaches, right?

8. Crawfish season is almost over, so sad.

9. I think no is the new yes.

10. I think I want to learn how to skateboard.

Side Note: Okay, maybe I only want a pink skateboard!

They're BACKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most of you know that I am total dork. I do some of the dorkiest things, wait is dorkiest a word? (screw it, now it is). So last night I got to HEB to get just a few groceries and it felt a little twilight zony. But those stories will have to come last. Right now we have to talk about the main attraction.

MY MOTHERS CIRCUS ANIMAL COOKIES, are back.

I couldn't freaking believe it. There I am minding my own business when bamm, I run smack dab into an end cap that has all the bags. I felt like a kid seeing Santa for the first time. I stopped I rubbed my eyes and looked again. Then I stood there in awe  and said STFU! So ya that didn't last long. My original post was 10/22, so it didn't even take a year.

On the other stuff, I think the grocery store is usally a miserable place to be. When I go I try to get in and out, with as little contact with anyone as possible. This time was different. I went in a good mood I felt like my eyes were wired wide open. That being said there are some FREAKS at the grocery store. It wasn't as bad as walmart. But definitely a place where you could throw around a thousand stereo types. The one that stuck out the most was the bitch mom, her 5 year old husband and the two little fat kids dumb and dumber. At first I felt bad for the lady the 2 boys were running around and of course dad was egging them on. In the cheese isle even I was annoyed, somebody control these fucking heathens. But by the time I got to the meat isle it had turned cute. Those brats didn't want to be at the store and either did the dad. They were all trying to  make the best of it. This mom was MEAN! And although I am sure it was the situation....I had to ask myself. WHY, would you want to take any of them to the store to do a weeks worth of shopping? In my opinion she asked for it.

Side Note: RPM and Ken, you guys rock! Friends don't let Friends go without cookies! Thanks again for my circus cookies, one of the coolest things ever I have gotten in the mail! 

JFC #3

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JFC #2

For Better or For Worse

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I love #11

A few months ago I read about this product on someone's blog. I forgot who's so if it was your blog, leave me a comment and I will link. When I first read the post I wasn't so sure. I am a bit of a product snob and in the past I haven't been very impressed by any of Neutrogena's products. However, after reading the comments I decided to give it a try. Oddly enough this was because of all the comments saying that this product tingled and burned a bit. No pain, no gain. I am happy to report that I am on day 4 and this product will give you results. My face not only looks clearer but it has a healthy glow as well. I get recurring breakouts on the right side of my chin from my phone. NOTHING, has helped with these breakouts until now. This stuff gets 5 stars!

14 Day Skin Rescure, by Neutrogena ($23.99)

Just Drink The Koolaid and STFU!

Whoa........easy now tiger. As my son used to say when he was little, "mom, take a calm down, take a chill out". 

It's Friday bitches and I am in rare form. It's a beautiful day in  my neighborhood and I can't wait to get this weekend started. But before we do that I have to talk with a few of you about "FB".

Yep, Facebook. 

Last July I was at a family picnic/reunion, when one of my cousins told me about fb. When I first heard about it I thought it was going to be like myspace, soooo not like myspace. Bottom line if you haven't signed up you really should, its a great way to keep up with people, without really keeping up.

Now for the good stuff. For those of you who already have fb and have a blackberry, I am about to get completely geeked out on you. Most of you probably have an application on your blackberry already. However, they just came out with a new app. This one pulls in the pictures, phone numbers and blackberry contact info. Its super cool, check it out. 

Have a great memorial day weekend! Drink lots of beer and have lots of sex! Two things I have had very little of lately!

Tin Truths 28

1. Mango Limeade at Sonic Rocks!

2. Facebook continues to amaze me.

3. I love Spencer Pratt.

4. I still don't know what's happening with my body.

5. I saw "the burbs" for the first time, funny as hell.

6. My son calls me "wiki", and yes its cause of wikipedia.

7. I love swimming, hopefully I start dropping the pounds.

8. I have been wondering lately, when did gobstoppers get so small.

9. For my birthday one friend gave me cupcakes and a scale. hmmmm

10. Favorite Quote this week.."pics or it didn't happen".

Side Note: Yes, the mower is pink! If I had that I would mow daily! 

Halfway to 70!

They say it's my birthday, duh na nah nah na. You probably all want to ask me the same question. How does it feel to be Halfway to 70? No different. I still feel old!

 I have always loved birthdays but as you get older they become not a big deal. I have never been married so it's the one day where I get to feel special ever year. Yes, it's all about me. This year I got some pretty special things from my mom/son and had to share!

1. I got a peace sign on a chain and a wine bottle charm. Both are from James Avery and they are super cute. thanks guys.

2. The picture you see above of the dragonfly's was painted by my mom. She has such an amazing talent. She has only been doing watercolor's for about 6 months and her talent is clear as day. She has done quite a few paintings that are gallery ready! Anywho my beautiful painting sits in my office now and I LOVE IT!

3. The coolest gift out of all of them was the book that you see above. It's the complete tales of Beatrix Potter in the original order and exactly how they were sent to be printed. Before each story, there is a story about the story. Also the book has 4 stories never published..........Last Year I saw Miss Potter the movie for the first time and I fell in love with it. I am a big happy ever ending kind of girl and this book fit that in every way. The first time I watched the movie I watched it 3 times in a row. It is the ONLY movie out there that I can watch over and over. A few months after, my mom watched it and she loved it. Its set in the early 1900"s and its based on the true story of Beatrix Potter. I hate to sound gay here, but what an inspiration to us all. This gift was beyond thoughtful! I have read it every night, and for the past few days it has slept with me. Yes I am a dork.

Overall 34 was interesting. Definitely allot of lessons learned. 35 is going to be about me. I am going to be selfish the entire year, I think I earned it. It's funny what age does to us, yes it just another year, and yes its just 35, and I am sure some of you think that is very young. But its still getting older no matter how you look at it. I look forward to getting myself in shape and finishing my 35 before 35.

Happy Birthday, Jag! You freaking made it to 35 aka "halfway to 70".

Side Note: As I was writing this my Mom showed up with a beautiful bouquet of pink gerber daisy's and a beautiful card. What a great day it has been so far!

I Wonder Wednesday 2?

Can water heaters blow up?

Do lizards eat spiders?

Do you ever sit around and think about dumb ass shit for no reason at all?

What do you want to know?

This One Never Gets Old.

Michael Flatley is the guy from Lord of the Dance. This video is a spoof and its freaking awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your welcome for today's laugh.

Every Freezer needs just one!

A few weeks ago I went over to a friends house to play poker and his wife turned me on to these chicken wings. 

Let me start by saying that I am a food snob, and I don't like cooked crap in a bag and then frozen. Until I tried the Tyson's Anytizers frozen buffalo wings. They are freaking delicious. The flavor is spot on, the chicken wings have a ton of meat on them and they are easy to cook. That last sentence sounded so fucking martha stewart that I am throwing up a little in my mouth as we speak. Not cool! My last tip on these babies and I can't even believe I am saying this...... but, you might as well just microwave them they actually taste better that way.  4 minutes, who would of thought. add to these a small bowl of homemade hidden valley ranch (out of the packet) wheww....well you are on your way to coronary heaven!

Now on to the important stuff. 

What is your favorite part of the chicken?       

and

What is your one wow frozen food find? (and NOOOOO ice cream and dessert doesn't count) (and if you don't like that too bad, write your own damn post.) 

JFC #1

I have decided to post my favorite comics on Sunday's. As a child I enjoyed Opus so enjoy my first edition! If it's too small to read click here or click on the photo for a bigger version.

I love #10

Finally one for the boys and girls. I am a flip flop fanatic. Because of this my heels stay very dry all year. This stuff is AMAzing! It is the first product I have ever used that actually takes care of cracked feet. It smells so good, its not too greasy and  most importantly it works!

Reinventing The Heel, by Origins ($20)

Toby Take 2.

I love turtles and tortoises, they don't cough, slurp, smack or bark. They have a simple beauty that I adore.

A few years ago my mom decided to get me a turtle. The only problem was that it was a  red eared slider. I started reading up on these things and I found out that some have salmonella. For normal people this wouldn't be a problem.....Have I told you that I am a hypochondriac? Needless to say I scratched that idea and decided to buy a baby tortoise which I named Toby. I only had him a few months. The fucker wouldn't play and decided he was going to sleep all day and only come out at night. This really pissed me off! So I gave him to one of my son's lizard loving friends.

On Sunday, I am driving with a friend  and I spot a huge turtle on the road. Yes, the one in the pic above. I think SCORE, if this thing can handle cars zooming by then he isn't a shy one and we will become fast friends. I get out of the car to grab him and he is huge, but before doing so I put on gloves cause yes he is a salmonella carrier. I pick him up and tons of water starts coming out of his shell. I am grossed out and I'm convinced he is pissing everywhere. I later learn it was water. I put him in the floor board but of course I am not putting any of my body parts anywhere near this thing. This is where I have to laugh because yes I do love the animal, truly this shouldn't be that hard. 

I get him home and I am very happy to have a  little backyard friend. Well that lasted 2 days. Because on Tuesday I went outside to the shock of a hole in my fence, no turtle and my neighbors very happy dog. We retrieved Toby and luckily he wasn't hurt. I decided I had caused him enough pain and took him to a very nice river/park in my town. Yes I did the right thing but now once again I am turtleless and back on the hunt for my next turtle adventure.

Tin Truths 27

1. I am in the process of learning how to  make a turtle pond.

2. When I buy plants or animals they die. 

3. I think Mother Nature hates me.

4. I am very proud of my son for accepting responsibility for his actions.

5. No, he didn't get anyone pregnant!

6. I am a James Avery Fanatic.

7. In 7 days I will be half way to 70.

8. My new love is Corn Tortillas.

9. I have decided I want to date me who are 40+.

10. The Swine Flu thing freaked me out.

I Wonder Wednesday?

Does anyone else check the toilet for snakes before they sit down?

The bitch is back!

Oh a little controversy in the morning is always fun. Here is where I proudly inject  my foot and refuse to take it out.

Today I watched the news video about birth control for men. My first thought before reading the story was its about damn time. My second thought was, is any woman out there going to trust a man to take his birth control every day? That being said I can promise you if I was a man I wouldn't be relying on a woman to ensure that I didn't get somebody knocked up. I would be triple wrapping that sucker every single time.

So I start to watch the video. In the intro it talks about how its a shot for men and its reversible. The second the lady said that, I could feel my blood start to boil. Reversible, are you fucking kidding me. The technology for a woman is a freaking shot that makes us gain 128 pounds, and makes it harder to get pregnant when we get off it. Not to mention the obvious, uhhh..........we are the ones that have to have the baby.  

This is where I am sure I piss somebody off. So I am thinking WTF? Who the hell out there has so  much time that they are trying to come up with a master shot for men instead of trying to make the female shot better.

The answer is MEN in CHINA.........enough said!

What are your thoughts!