I Wanna Know!

1. Why is yeah spelled yeah and not ya.

2. If you are a nun what religion are you? Or do all religions have nun's?

3. Where do Gnats come from? Is there a momma and daddy gnat?

4. Why does the cheap bubble bath work better then the expensive stuff?

5.  If your fish was blind, how would you know?



My Night at the Playboy Mansion!

I got a call on Thursday afternoon from the playboy mansion. The gentleman on the phone said he wanted me to come hang out for the weekend to see if I would a good fit as one of Hef's new girlfriends. I ran home packed clothes I didn't even know I had and headed off. When I got there I was given everything I ever wanted. My toes were done, my hair was colored/cut/straightned, and a makeup artist did my face. I met the other bitches, I mean girls and decided I had no competition. I couldn't believe how skinny I  looked in that Red DIOR. We all jumped in a limo and went out for the night. We had dinner and danced till morning. Hef was a perfect gentleman although his brother was a little creepy. The next morning I was told I was a keeper, I had the opportunity to live in the mansion for at least 6 months. HELL TO THE YA. But then where would my son go? UHHH no the other girls aren't watching him. I mean I am sure he would just love that, but no. It is now Friday Afternoon and I have 2 hours to find sexy dresses, figure out where my son is going and get back to the mansion.....

all of a sudden I here a phone ringing. Seriously isn't there staff for this, can someone pick up the damn phone. And who keeps breathing in my face????

ant, ant, ant, ant.........yeah you guessed it. It was my damn phone and a certain little stalker kitty who had decided to wake me up by suffocating me. 

Let me just tell you, it was fun for a night but I wouldn't want to live there!!

Side Note: I did ask if I had to have sex with Hef and I was told no, I just have to call him Daddy! WEIRD!


Goldfish, Not Vodka, will be the death of me!

Sometimes I wish it was easy to update on blogger as it is my phone. Or for that matter that facebook would just automatically link in. UGH.

My weekend was great, fun, aggravating and beyond annoying, all in one. So here are my updates!

- Weight loss is going well. I have lost 2.5 pounds in 5 days and I have to admit I cheated half those days. I hope this week goes a little better. I have to lose 11 by October 23!

- The 100 calorie packs in my life are killing me. I am not a carb freak but one of the hardest parts of dieting for me is the loss of the "crispy crunchy" a cracker, a chip, or god forbid a "goldfish". What's been saving me is the 100 calorie goldfish and cheese nip packs. I haven't broke down and had 2 in a day yet, but I just feel its coming. Thank you Pepperidge Farm!

-My boys won (hook em') and I spent good times with my friends. I work from home so my interaction with adults is limited at times. It feels good to get out and have adult talk, wow that kindof sounded dirty!

-Saturday I went to a very interesting place. Its called Ghost Town and you guessed it thats what it is. An older man named George has been building it for 10 years, and its his passion. It has an outside movie theater, a beautiful stage and countless buildings he built with his own hands. The stage is intimate and is surrounded by star lights hanging down, fairy lights (ie christmas white lights) and colored lights as well. A cute boy got up there and sang, I was enamored. I just haven't decided if it was the lights or the mystery boy, lol. Add that in with the best burger and fries I have ever had in my life and well ya good times. This place is set in a place that you would never know it was there. I am glad I got the memo.

-At times I wish this blog was still small. I always said that I would never filter myself on here. Yet right now that is exactly what I find myself doing at times. I have even began to make my facebook list smaller, the ones who get my blog. I think we can all look at ourselves and find things to better in our lives. I am taking a hard look at my life and working on a few of those everyday. I am also working on keeping my mouth shut in situations where my words will make no difference. A lot of times we have expectations of how things are going to go, this always sets us up for trouble. I think having an expectation of a conversation is even worse. Because then it doesnt even matter what the other party has to say, you or they have already formed opinions.. And when the conversation is coming from people you love its best to look at their motive and not their words. I looked at the motive and am trying very hard not to let the words bother me. Over the years I have become a very judgemental person. It started out that I just had a strong opinion and now that opinion has turned into judgements. From all of this I take a little and I leave a little, and I walk away with a true feeling of what it feels like to be judged. Next time I will try a little harder not too. I am in a very good place right now and I thank god for that.

Other then that, I am leaving in 3 days and I can't wait. I am getting the hell out of here. I am 35 and I haven't spent a weekend with my whole family in years. Most of us will be there. My son gets to enjoy the coast like I did as a kid. There will be fishing, laughing, giggling, cooking and drinking. And I get all aunts and uncles in one place. Well all but one.... UNCLE JOE, I love you and you will be missed. So cross your fingers that the days go by FAST!

thats all folks.


Tin Truths 34

1. I have considered throwing both my cats out the door today!
2. I am missing a friend even though she did me wrong.
3. I have been having weird dreams about pudding pops.
4. I need a new toy. 
5. I have 17 bottles of Mr. Bubble on my counter.
6. I hope she's ugly.
7. I am getting rid of everything.
8. My comeback is going to be big.
9. Its so freaking cold right now my nipples hurt.

Side Note: I am not suzy freaking homemaker, so....if anyone knows how to make good homeade pudding pops help a girl out. 

Side Note 2: Shame on you for even thinking that fat girl comment. They make Sugar Free Pudding you know!


Just a Fatty!

Here we go again! If you want to follow my fat ass to skinnyness you can click the link below!

Side Note: Is it weird that I love my title!!!!!! love myself, even fat I love myself!!

Ups and Downs and Downs and Ups

Hi Yall". 

Let's see what's new. 

Well I am a still just a single, fat girl, who's attempting to make some major changes before I turn the big 36. The last few months have been awful. I think sometimes life takes its turns for better or worse and all we can do is go along for the ride. That has been a hard thing for me to understand. I am the one that says "it's just not fair" and "why me" and "what are we even doing in this life". Today is one of those days where I feel like the fog is starting to clear and I am looking forward to some up's for awhile.

As most of you know I started this blog a year ago as I was going through a break-up. Wooo what a road that was! So here are some updates on  my life, and from here I can go back to my sweet, smart ass, self.

God- Yep I am pulling out the big guns. God and I have had some trouble over the past few years. I guess maybe you could say we have been in a little fight. I am opening my eyes back up to "faith" and we are slowly starting to have our talks again.

The X- Believe it or not we are now friends. Something we probably should have started out doing to begin with. He is the first X I have kept in contact with and I have to say I am glad we remain in each others life. Feels good to start to feel normal again. He has made me an offer I can't refuse and more of that will come later.

Housing- I am moving out my 3 bedroom house into a 2 bedroom apartment in less then a month. I am very  happy to get into less house. No yard to mow, no sink to fix. Its TIME!

Me- Well I am still living in single land. I attempted to go on a few dating sites but never posted a full profile. I am open to dating but its not high on my priority list. I love happy hour, and no I am not an alcoholic. Just a social butterfly who enjoys a martini in hand, lol.

Weight- I am still a skinny girl living in a fat girls body. I am starting a new blog to follow me down my road to skinnyness. I will post that link later and you guys can watch me succeed or fail. Either way it will be interesting and in true Jag fashion. 

Well that's it for now. I will be around more. miss ya guys and glad to be back.

Side Note: Reading blogs has been low on my list. So I have allot of catching up to do. Tell me the biggest thing that has happened to you in the past 90 days. Good or Bad, I can take it!!!!!


I refuse to apologize everytime I leave.....

it"s just me, take me or leave me. When life becomes too much, I simply put the covers over my head. Not the healthiest solution but better then dragging everyone around you down with your eyeore days.

Sometimes you just have to hug yourself. Not its not deep thoughts by jag, I mean seriously lay in your bed in the morning. Wrap both your arms around you and hug yourself, it feels really great. Now if I could just have sex with myself, I would be good to go. Oh yeah, I can have sex with myself. Oh how i crack myself up.

Today is day one of day two. I am jumping back in feet first and we will see how this round goes. I am getting some pink speakers today...........but pretty sure I am returning them. Although I want them sooooo bad, that is a post within itself. I am counting the days down to Saturday, thank god for longhorn football. Beyond that nothing but a big dark hole and as you can see I am inching my way out.

Side Note- Aren't the speakers beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!