WTF? Volume 11 Edition 14

Side Note: Mom, I apologize in advance. I had to do it.

First off let me admit that something might be wrong with me, that or I have a warped sense of humour. Oh and I sure did have to backspace since just then, and replace it with sense. Why, because I am a freaking idiot. 

Putting a picture of yogurt in this post is wrong in so many ways, but like I always say "its my blog".

So one time at band camp..........actually last night in the car, my son and I were having a discussion and somewhere in that discussion "ankle spanker" came up. Now I can pretty much assure you that I don't have some weird kid walking around wearing my panties. I really only throw in the pantie part because of this show I watched about psycho killer Doug Clark who did wear his moms panties, but hey that is another story. Back to "ankle spankers"! When my son says this my mouth drops and I say WTF, literally WTF? I immediately thought it meant grabbing ankles and getting spanked. Why? I guess because my mind is demented and lives in the gutter. Lucky for me and my son, it wasn't what I thought it was. 

So I said what the hell does that mean. Son says IDK, and yes he says IDK not I don't know (if you have kids you will get it). Me being the great researcher, I head to google and grab the definition. Considering the only definition was under Urban Dictionary I didn't feel quite as bad. Now after this history lesson, talk turns to slang for masturbation. I again go to google and have decided to post my 3 favorite slang words for masturbation. As far as what "ankle spanker" stands for. That will come next in "tween word of the day" until then enjoy the slang below. 

Male Masturbation (these are all wrong on sooooo many levels)
Burping the Worm
Squeeze the Cream from the Flesh Twinkie
Slapping the Snot out of Shorty 

Female Masturbation
Paddling the Pink Canoe
Gagging the Clam
Soaking the Whisker Biscuit

Side Note 2: Happy Friday! Hope this makes up for not posting all week and being a liar.


Ken said...

Nope, but its close....lol
You know we all love you....well I do anyway.


Heinous said...

lol...burping the worm

Heather said...

Um, I don't get it? What does spanking your monkey have to do with your ankles??

Narm said...

I think I would rather live my life assuming ankle spanker meant what you thought it did.

Don't ruin this for me.

Tiffany said...

Paddling the pink canoe? LMFAO

Who comes up with these things?

NucMEd is Hot said...

I am so glad I know these things now. I can sleep!

Orion said...

whisker biscuit...
now that sounds about right...

as long as there isn't a warm flaky crust, i'm all for it..

Jormengrund said...


Orion's post just left me feeling a bit.. ILL...

Warm, flaky crust.. *shivers*