Just a Moment

I wouldn't call myself a deep person. However, there are times in my life when I feel like I get these signs. At times I sit out at night and I see the stars and when i look i up see the big dipper and I think to myself i am exactly where i am supposed to be in my life. I realize to most people that this probably sounds really weird. I guess most would compare it too deja vu. Others would call it an epiphany. I like to call it an awakening. I realized today that I am the happiest I think I have ever been in my life. I watched a show this afternoon called "August Rush". What an amazing movie, I love movies with great endings and they seem to touch me, inspire me. I wont tell you about the ending, you will have to watch it to find that out. I will tell you that something as simple as "sometimes you have to listen to hear the music" struck a cord, no pun intended. When the movie was over I walked out to my back porch. I have been out there a thousand times, this time was different. It was cold and windy the air felt cool and open, and I did listen. Yes I only heard trees swaying and wind blowing and I heard the cars on the highway a mile away, i heard the tires go over every bump in the road. But everything was louder, more intense and the sound was beautiful. In that moment a smile was across my face, I haven't felt that smile in a few years. At that moment I had an awakening. I am happy, I am happy with me and I am happy in my life.

I will now sit and patiently wait for the next awakening but this time the wait wont seem as hard.

Side Note: Back to our regularly scheduled program tomorrow.

10 Things I Am Thankful For

On Thanksgiving we go around the table and I only get to say 1 thing I am thankful for, so here are ten.

1. I am thankful to have such an amazing son. He is the highlight of my life, I adore his humor and I am lucky to get to watch him grow into such a beautiful young man.

2. I am thankful for my mom. My mom is my best friend and without her I would be lost. She is my rock and one hell of a grandma. Mom, I love you, more than words will ever be able to express. Thank for having me, lol!

3. I am thankful for my family and friends. Over the years you realize this is really the most important part.

4. I am thankful for Bob. He is my Dad, my mentor, my friend and my confidant. I adopted him or I should say he adopted me a few years back. I never had a "Dad" in  my life. He makes up for all that and more. I am very thankful that he came into my life. He is my guardian angel.

5. I am thankful for my new job. I no longer own my own business, and man am I happy about it. I love job and I love the people I work with. I cant wait to see what the next year brings me.

6. I am thankful for my new office. I work from home and I put together a dream office this week. Now I feel like I am in a happy place for my workday instead of a cave.

7. I am thankful that I am alive, if I was dead that would really suck.

8. I am thankful that I am single. Life is seriously too short for all that drama that occurred. 

9. I am thankful for my blog. My blog was here for me when I needed an outlet for my sadness. Now its here for all thoughts JAG. I love my blog and I am thankful for all the people I have met to date.

10. I am thankful for November. And no, I didnt run out of things to be thankful for. I really am thankful for November. Its my favorite month of the whole year. I love November, I love Thanksgiving, and I love the weather. So thank you, November.

Side Note: Happy Thanksgiving!

Oh I get it "fast"

Yes by now you know I am a dork. That being said I also must throw in that I am a VERY cool mom, sometimes. So I am sitting on the couch with my son, talking about his day. He starts telling me about how "gay" the jocks are. How they sit around and talk about their pec's which cracked me up, because my son also talks about his "muscular chest". The point being he would rather have lunch with a beautiful girl then chest beaters. I asked him, do you ever tell them they are gay. He says no and goes on to complain about another boy and how he is fast. Me thinking "fast" is the new tween word, I start asking a ton of questions to figure out what the word means. 

This is where my son says, "what is wrong with you". I said, "what I get it "fast, I just want to know what it means. 

He responds, "wow mom, you know he runs fast. or he is the fastest runner in the school. Needless to say I felt like a dumb ass. 

Lesson of the day: 1, this is a boring ass post. 2, sometimes a word is just that.... a word.

I rub my fishie......................

Orion, was the first one to guess it. Yes, its a vibrator. Or should I say "massager", either way it cracks me up. A fish vibrator, I have now truly seen it all. You might be asking what part even vibrates, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............the tail and the eyes. So yeah, you can get your bean all excited with a fish eye if you want and it will only set you back $22.99.

Here is the description and a link to purchase it.

I rub my fishie, $22.99

Funky waterproof vibrating fish massager. Simply squeeze its side to turn it on or off. Its strong motor generates quiet vibrations in the bulgy eyes and tail. Simply relax as powerful waves of vibration sooth away the stresses and tensions of life. 

Should be Simple Enough

What is this? 

Side Note: Guesses are Free- and you win nothing!

I Love #6

Yes its a brush folks, but not just any brush. This freaking thing is AmaZing, and I love it. I personally use it for bronzer. However, it works great for blush and powder as well. I think I have turned on just about everyone I know to this thing. Oh and as I have said before when applying bronzer use a 3 motion on your face, it makes a huge difference. 

Bronzer Brush, by Prescriptives ($32)

Side Note: This brush also won Allure's 2008 Best of Beauty award. 

Side Note 2: I had the brush waaaaaaaaaaaaay before it was cool to have it.

Titty Tidbits

I sneezed this morning and literally blew snot bubbles. And NO I am not being dramatic, I am talking about huge bubbles of snot. Pretty Freaking Nasty.

I also told quite a few people yesterday that I was going to buy dog/baby doors for my office. Why might you ask? Because, I wanted to keep my cat out of there. This is where I admit I had a serious blonde moment...............my cat jumps 8 foot fences. 

Where in the hell has my brain gone?

Side Note: I have gone back to google image hell. Due to all the nasty ass brain pics, you got bubbles. And if you really want to get your gag on......go ahead and google snot bubbles under images I dare you, note the pic is no longer of bubbles. 

Tin Truths 6 Teen

1. For the first time in my life I lost my voice

2. On December 1st I am going to do the Lemonade Diet (will see)

3. I watched my first full "Dexter" episode and I liked it

4. Carpet will be installed next Wednesday

5. I got sized for a Bra, damn that makes a huge difference

6. I am in search of my next "eager beaver"

7. I started a new job and I freaking love it

8. Quantum of the Solace was just ok!

9. My favorite dressing is Raspberry Walnut Vinagrette 

10. The Swapfest swag is going to kick ass

Side Note: Thanks to Ken for the Pic.

Lets Get Our SWAPFEST ON!

Finally, we are ready to get our SWAP on. I don't know about y'all but I am ready to do this.

Originally the deadline to send your SWAP packages out, was December 1st. That has now changed to December 15th. Below I have listed your swap partners. By Midnight tonight everyone will get an email from me with details of your swap partner. The links below are highlighted with your partners blog so that you can do your due diligence and learn a little about your new swap friend. I really love  the word swap although it does sound so dirty.

Rules are simple. Send a package to your partner and get a package in return. I didn't put a dollar amount on this swap or an item minimum. Send what you like and have no expectations of what you will get in return. You can send a package of 10 items or one item, I don't really care. Be creative and have it reflect your style or your partners. As mentioned before everyone will receive a gift from me for participating., and yes its going to be awesome. 

If for some reason anyone doesn't want to participate or cant participate just let me know in email and I will take up the slack. This is meant to be fun and hopefully can be done twice a year moving forward. Lets all make this interesting and I cant wait to see what everyone gives out. Happy Swapping! 

Here are your partners

Justagirl   and   Breaking News

Mom   and   Gimme The Juice

Diaries of the Professor   and   Yet Another Day in Paradise

Ken's Blog   and   Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

Chaos Free Living   and    Silicone Alley

Thoughts That Are Deep   and    My Everyday Soap (Opera)

Biddy's World   and    SnackReligious

Jannie Funster   and   A Little Left of Lost

Single Mom Seeking   and   It's Serious This Time

Life As It Is   and   One Day At A Time

A Whole Mess Of Rollo   and    The South 40

Tracie-licious   and   Just Kim U

Side Note: Mom is my Mom and I will send Gimme a full profile. Also by default I will be adding Leslie at Chaos Free Living to my swap (I owe her).

Side Note 2: Lets do this bitches!

Tween Word of the Day #2

Ankle Spanker

A man who owns a very large penis, or has very short legs and an average size penis.

Phrase:

Ow! Youre not stepping on my toes. Thats my ankle spanker.

Side Note: See WTF below to get the  just of it. AND who the fuck made up that dumb ass phrase, get the just of it. hmm.

WTF? Volume 11 Edition 14

Side Note: Mom, I apologize in advance. I had to do it.

First off let me admit that something might be wrong with me, that or I have a warped sense of humour. Oh and I sure did have to backspace since just then, and replace it with sense. Why, because I am a freaking idiot. 

Putting a picture of yogurt in this post is wrong in so many ways, but like I always say "its my blog".

So one time at band camp..........actually last night in the car, my son and I were having a discussion and somewhere in that discussion "ankle spanker" came up. Now I can pretty much assure you that I don't have some weird kid walking around wearing my panties. I really only throw in the pantie part because of this show I watched about psycho killer Doug Clark who did wear his moms panties, but hey that is another story. Back to "ankle spankers"! When my son says this my mouth drops and I say WTF, literally WTF? I immediately thought it meant grabbing ankles and getting spanked. Why? I guess because my mind is demented and lives in the gutter. Lucky for me and my son, it wasn't what I thought it was. 

So I said what the hell does that mean. Son says IDK, and yes he says IDK not I don't know (if you have kids you will get it). Me being the great researcher, I head to google and grab the definition. Considering the only definition was under Urban Dictionary I didn't feel quite as bad. Now after this history lesson, talk turns to slang for masturbation. I again go to google and have decided to post my 3 favorite slang words for masturbation. As far as what "ankle spanker" stands for. That will come next in "tween word of the day" until then enjoy the slang below. 

Male Masturbation (these are all wrong on sooooo many levels)

Burping the Worm

Squeeze the Cream from the Flesh Twinkie

Slapping the Snot out of Shorty 

Female Masturbation

Paddling the Pink Canoe

Gagging the Clam

Soaking the Whisker Biscuit

Side Note 2: Happy Friday! Hope this makes up for not posting all week and being a liar.

Tin Truths 15

1. I got a new job.........and its awesome

2. The person that jumped me was a girl

3. Thanksgiving this year is going to be like ole' times. TX vs A&M

4. I sang Baby Got Bank and Ice Ice Baby at Karoke Hell this week.

5. I nixed the stained concrete and am now moving on to Carpetville

6. I learned new slang words for masturbation, look for WTF

7. I think I am turing into an olive and it sucks

8. Yes its that time, and my boobs have been in my hands all week

9. No not that time, just handle my boobs time.

10. Best thing about winter, getting a new pink sweatsuit, JUICY.

Side Note: I dare you to go to Google Images and type in Masturbation. That pic was almost the monkey. lol.

NTR 17

Yes I have been Crazy Busy. My goal this week is to post once a day maybe twice if I am feeling Froggy.

Football this weekend was interesting to say the least. Its been a long time since I watched 3 games in a day. Am I glad Iowa won, yes. Am I glad Texas is #3, yes. Am I glad Fucking Tech won, no.

A Bar with roaches = freaking sick. Yes they were crawling on the bar and NO it wasn't a dive. Needless to say my ass wont be frequenting that place anytime soon. Nor will I be going to the bar/restaurant that I was assaulted at on Saturday. LONG story. But trust me I am fine, and yes I did press charges. I don't fight and I am not white trash, but for some reason this just wasn't my weekend.

You guys are cracking me up with the Tin Truths. I will be responding to these later once I get caught up. 

For those of you that don't know what a Mexican Martini is. Its basically just a margarita served in a cocktail shaker with a martini glass. They also add a little olive juice to the margarita and of course an olive skewer in the glass. I like mine FILTHY!

10 truths 14

1. I am now reading "I hope they serve beer in hell".

2. I have two lead marks on my palms from childhood. 

3. I got them from sticking a pencil in my left hand. twice

4. My high score on brick breaker is 9640

5. I had a date with myself the other night, damn I am good

6. I can eat olives with anything, I freaking love em'

7. I actually wore a bra 3x this week, weird I know

8. I can't wait for christmas

9. My new "now" drink, is the Mexican Martini, DIRTY.

10. I hope when I die I don't come back as a plant.

Side Note: Yes I know this is a day late but thanks to technology, its really not late at all.

SWAPFEST UPDATE!

24 participants and I am pretty freaking excited. Below are all the people who have dared to join Swapfest. If you see your name in RED please click on this LINK and fill out this online form QUICKLY, so that I can match people up. If for any reason you no longer want to participate then no worries, just shoot me an email. If you have already joined and you dont see your name below, send me an email. justagurl74@gmail.com 

I am going to give the damn procrastinators a few more days to get there forms filled out and then we are off to match city. I will have all the swap buddies ready by Friday. I want to have a mail by date of December 5th. This gives everyone plenty of time to send off their swaps. 

As I said before this isn't about quantity or how much you spend. I thought about putting a price on this swap, but I decided against it. I make the rules here at JAG. Be creative and expect nothing! Send your partner something old, something pink, 10 things, 8 things. Send whatever you want. Send a good book and a blankie shoot I dont care, just send something and put some thought into it. As stated earlier everyone that participated in the swap will be receiving a gift from me. Its going to be a surprise and amazingly awesome, so NO hints. 

Here is the list, the bad guys are the ones in RED. LMAO!

1. Tracie @ tracielicous

2. Brad @ diariesoftheprofessor

3. Kim @ justkimu

4. Ken @ kensblog

5. Mike @ thesouth40

6. Far @ everydaysoap

7. Karen @ chaosfreeliving

8. Danielle @ danielle-leftyloosy

9. Rollo @ messofrollo

10. Partrice @ patrice0x0x

11. Crazy Lady @ thoughtsthataredeep

12. Jormen @ jormengrund-yetanother

13. idamomb @ idamomb

14. Monica @ siliconealley

15. Jamie @ gimmethejuice

16. Tara @ lifeasitis22

17. Kaylen @ lifeofkaylen

18. Jenny @ snackreligous

19. Jen @ strugglinginspringfield

20. Alsyon @ wantedgoodhome

21. Rachel @ singlemomseeking

22. Jannie @ janniefunster.com

23. Brandy @ biddysworld

24. JAG @ justagirl34

we are all screwed!

I am 34 and for the first time in my life I think we are screwed. Neither opponnet has woo'ed me and neither one has come close. Last night I watched Palin on SNL, and it made me cringe. What in the hell was Mc Cain thinking?

Tonight, hug your kids and tell your family you love em'. 

We are in for a rocky road either way.

#5 is not #1

I am in major mourning, over TEXAS. What a freaking roller coaster ride. I drank two mexican martinis, one red bull w/vodka and one jager bomb. All of that and I couldn't catch a buzz. I was too wound up, and it sucked. 

November is one of my favorite months. Its not too cold and not too hot, its just right. Why do I feel like I am quoting goldilocks, uhhhhhh cause I am. I like to call this chili, potato soup, down comforter throw weather. My X used to make fun of me every year when it got cold. The first day it got down to 70 I would want to light the fireplace and make a huge pot of chili. I am freaking weird. 

I boycotted giving out Candy on Halloween, and shoot I am going to hell. Swapfest Info will be updated no later than Wednesday. I am waiting on info back from just a few of you. 

Side Note: My Grandmother makes amazing potato soup, as soon as idamomb  gives me the recipe I will post it.

Side Note 2: This is a boring ass post.

I love #5

These cloths are the awesome. I got these as a sample from Sephora about a month ago. I guess you can say I drank the "blu-ray" koolaid. You wash your face with these and yes they make a huge difference and they are re-usable. You go over each part you are washing for 10 strokes. I love, love, love these

blu-ray polshing cloths, by Cargo ($15)

Side Note: Tomorrow I will be posting the final names for my Swapfest. So technically you still have 48 hours to join. Happy Saturday.