I love turtles and tortoises, they don't cough, slurp, smack or bark. They have a simple beauty that I adore.
A few years ago my mom decided to get me a turtle. The only problem was that it was a red eared slider. I started reading up on these things and I found out that some have salmonella. For normal people this wouldn't be a problem.....Have I told you that I am a hypochondriac? Needless to say I scratched that idea and decided to buy a baby tortoise which I named Toby. I only had him a few months. The fucker wouldn't play and decided he was going to sleep all day and only come out at night. This really pissed me off! So I gave him to one of my son's lizard loving friends.
On Sunday, I am driving with a friend and I spot a huge turtle on the road. Yes, the one in the pic above. I think SCORE, if this thing can handle cars zooming by then he isn't a shy one and we will become fast friends. I get out of the car to grab him and he is huge, but before doing so I put on gloves cause yes he is a salmonella carrier. I pick him up and tons of water starts coming out of his shell. I am grossed out and I'm convinced he is pissing everywhere. I later learn it was water. I put him in the floor board but of course I am not putting any of my body parts anywhere near this thing. This is where I have to laugh because yes I do love the animal, truly this shouldn't be that hard.
I get him home and I am very happy to have a little backyard friend. Well that lasted 2 days. Because on Tuesday I went outside to the shock of a hole in my fence, no turtle and my neighbors very happy dog. We retrieved Toby and luckily he wasn't hurt. I decided I had caused him enough pain and took him to a very nice river/park in my town. Yes I did the right thing but now once again I am turtleless and back on the hunt for my next turtle adventure.