These are my words, my feelings and yes my blog. A place for me to say what I want, when I want!
I have had a long running feud with God. I know the day it started, and the reasons I will keep to myself. I am the kid (yes I am still a kid) that always questions the why, how, what and where. For years I have told myself that IF there is a God, then he understands 100% where I am at in my life and he understands my doubts.
But to be honest I am just pissed. Not knowing if there is a God, or where my faith lies, leaves me not knowing who to be pissed at right now. I don't understand life and I am sick of people telling me I am not supposed to understand it. When it comes to the all mighty, I believe I should have rights. I believe I do have the right to know the meaning of it and why things happen the way they do. I don't care who ate the fucking apple and I don't care that water was turned into wine.
There are a thousand things that I am grateful for, and there are a thousand things I am not grateful for. I just don't get it. Bad things do happen to good people and good things do happen to bad people. That's just life right, so we should all just except it and be grateful. Well sorry but not today. I don't understand the suffering part and I don't believe in the BS of everything happens for a reason and all the other tag lines that you could insert here. We basically live our lives to grow old and suffer till deaf, and it makes me really mad. So at this point in my life I am pissed at God, pissed because his plan sucks, pissed because faith isn't making me feel any better and pissed because if there isn't a God then what the hell are we doing.
Side Note: I am not in some black hole of depression I am fine. In two minutes I will post Thursday's Tin Truths and we will be back to our regular scheduled program.
Side Note 2: I think there should be a name for people who are in God Purgatory.