9.08.2008

Insert Dumb Title Here..........


I wake up and I swear I just slept on a cloud. The bed is so big, I get lost in it. I am surrounded by down and linen. My feet stick out from under the fluffiness and I can instantly tell that the room is a cool 65. I grab my tiny bell and I ring it twice. My butler, who looks like he just stepped off abercrombie page 2, brings me a chilled red bull and informs me that my bath is ready. Before my feet can touch the floor, he has my body wrapped in silk and my feet covered in plush. Upon entering the bathroom I think for a moment, am I in Rome. Before me is the biggest bath I have ever seen, chilled champagne and 3 topless Women with pink sponges. This is how they did it in the day, I loose the silk and plop down in a sea of bubbles. My hair is washed, my body scrubbed, I don't know if I will ever get out. ANT, ANT, ANT, ANT, ANT, ANT....Fucking Alarm! Seriously pisses me off! can you just once, let me finish my freaking dream.! Apparently that is just too much to ask.

These days I prefer dream land. This weekend alone I have had orgasms with Matthew Mc Hotty, won the lottery and been to quite a few casinos. That is the life.

Side Note: No, that isn't my real bathroom.

20 comments:

Patrice said...

lol gotta love dream world where anything is possible! I hate when stupid alarm clocks interrupt dream world grr that is the worst!

for a different kind of girl said...

I dreamt that my mother-in-law bitched at me on a cross-country trip to nowhere. Yours are a hundred times better!

NucMEd is Hot said...

Jesus, you are hilarious, when I win the lotto, I'll but you the butler!

Orion said...

I don't dream at night... never. Gone.
But my favoritest thing of all time is awakening to a slap in my face because SHE watched too much drama on courtTV about serial killers. Now, at 4 in the morning some asswad from the TV is chasing after her with a butcher knife and by God i'll never have sex again if i don't SAVE her now.

like... RIGHT NOW.

g-man said...

Yeah my alarm usually goes off when I am dreaming. F'n thing. I'll have to borrow that topless woman bating dream if you're finished with it. :)

georgie said...

LMAO funnny post...I was all into reading then I heard your alarm going off...gawd I am gonna have ANT ANT ANT ANT stuck in hayud all day now!

Donnnnn said...

Ha, you were watchin' Failure To Launch weren't 'cha?

I like your idea of bathing, but in my dreams I only have Monica Bellucci attending...and as Forrest said,
"an that's all ah hav to say about tha-tah."

Dreamland is way more fun..except for the scary uber-realistic nightmares..you know how in falling dreams you're never supposed to hit the ground? I always hit the ground and f*ck does it hurt!

Do you dream in colour?
Panavision?
Subtitles?

Narm said...

This is why I have a whole in my wall and broken alarm parts all over my room.

Ken said...

You know I have been told that I look a lot like Mat! (thats how we are, him and I are budys). i don't do alarms, I just wake up 4:00 am everyday!.

Danielle-lee said...

LOL!!!

Hey, you won my contest! Better email me your address, lady!

Midlife Slices said...

I see this post got a lot men to sit up and uh comment. hehe...cute and I so hear ya and hate my damn alarm with a passion.

Tiffany said...

That alarm pissed me off too. And Matthew is MY man so you can DREAM all you want about him but he's comin home to me.

Dan da Man said...

Hey why did you steal my dream

bettya.anderson said...

I hate the dreams that promise yummy food in the fridge. I always get angry when I check and theres nothing of the sort. Just milk, bread and left overs...

abbagirl74 said...

I love dreams like that. I dream in color and there is always conversation. Did you ever have that nightmare when you were little and it kept coming back every time you were sick? I did. An airplane with no top and no pilot. I dreamed up the show "Lost" before anyone else did.

Diesel said...

Is Matthew McHotty the guy who is always trying to catch the Hamburgler?

Queen-Size funny bone said...

What the hell puts you into dream world? What ever it is I'll have what she's having! Mail it on girlfriend....

The Nemesing One said...

I had a dream where I slowly dripped hot melted chocolate all over your naked body and then slowly licked it all off.

OK, I wasn't asleep and it wasn't a dream, I was taking a bath and thinking about you. Does that count?

Leslie said...

I am jealous of your dream world.

Practically Joe said...

In my dream I was just about to get a full body massage by three topless women when they told me they were sorry but the were called by someone to another dream.
I asked "who do you have to go to?" and the three of them said at the same time ... "You don't know her ... she's just a girl."
Damn! You stole my girls!