Somebody help me!

Okay so after a year of procrastination I finally did it. I bought the lemons, syrup and pepper. Today will be day one of the master cleanse. Now, my blog will not turn into a huge master cleanse blog. But I will be letting all you peeps know my progress. 

So on Day 1 my fat ass weighed in at 170! Yes folks there is a reason I am doing this cleanse. I will let anyone know that is doing this for the first time. The Syrup is not cheap at all. $16 dollars a bottle and that will only last a couple of days. I am going to attempt to do this cleanse for the full 14 days so any support would be great.

This morning I made the concoction. 2 liters of water, 12 tbls of lemon juice, 12 tbls of maple syrup (grade b or higher only) and 1/4 tsp of cayenne pepper. I have read in other places that people said the lemonade was great. I am here to tell you, it's not so great. The cayenne gives it a strange flavor, that is NOT appealing. Because of this tomorrow I will be taking cayenne capsules instead.

With this detox/diet you are supposed to do a salt water flush. Forever, named SWF in my posts. This consists of 2 tsp of sea salt mixed in with 1 liter of water. This has to be drank quickly and then after be close to the toilet. Enough said!

I am half way through my first day and I am feeling fine. I am working on getting the lemonade down and not looking forward to my SWF! Anywho I will now finish my post with what I would eat right now if I could eat something. AKA "what I am craving".

Biscuits- Fluffy ones from Monument Cafe. With a big slab of real butter from Truluck's.
Fried Chicken- this one is funny because I really don't like fried chicken at all. But I want about 16 pieces of fried chicken. The kind my mom used to make in that cast iron skillet, when I was like 8!!!!
Okra- Well done from Golden Fried
Coleslaw- From KFC, BABY!

and to wash it all down a big freaking glass of tea, two splenda's please!

Side Note: I really hope I have the willpower to get through this!


Barnacle said...

i'm all into this as well but i buy the shit direct from COLON BLOW

Linda said...

Good luck, hon. I would never try it. I would pass out from hunger!

Mich said...

oh my... good luck! be brutally honest in your updates with us becasue i am considering doing it too and would really like to know how you feel about it.

*Just Jen* said...

WOW! Good luck! I would love to know how this is supposed to work. Email me the info!? Or is it something where I have to be home for like five days in a row, close to a toilet? lol

Jaime said...

good luck with this.

Jormengrund said...


Not to be mean or anything.

But, girl, are you preggers craving that stuff while doing that crap to your body?

Just asking..

Best of luck with that whatchamacallit stuff you're doing.

Heather said...

An entire liter??? Quickly?? Do you have to be near the toilet because you're going to THROW UP? Because I totally would. *GAG*
I thought you were supposed to be cleansing yourself out from the other end. lol

RPM said...

I have a friend that went thru that about a month ago. You might want to go look at some of his older posts at skattershooting.blogspot.com .

He survived and seemed to do it without much trouble.

Ken said...

If this is what you want I am behind you all the way. You go girl!

yolanda said...

OMG! hey... hows it going? notice a difference yet with this crazy no food diet?? saw your blog and i LOVE it!! :D