1.09.2009

Just a Crazy Here



I am truly lucky to even be alive right now. I am not sure how I made it through it but I did. Exactly one hour ago I drank a full glass of Metamucil and I didn't choke. Now you guys can laugh or think whatever you want but this was very touch and go. I have this little condition called sideefectia. I am sure most of you have already heard of this disease but for those that haven't I will explain. Whenever I read the side effects of a drug, pill, lozenge you name I get them. 

Okay maybe its not sideefectica its fucking hypochondria. 

Tonight I am cracking up as I sit here and write this, because I do realize how freaking crazy I really am.

A few years ago  after drinking an entire glass of metamucil, I read the choking warning. Now for most people that wouldn't be a big deal but for someone like me it was like sucking down insta choke. I could feel my throat closing and I swore I would never drink that shit again. And I didn't till tonight. 

The other day I went to the store and noticed that they had Pink Lemonade flavor and I got it. I figured it would be waterier. ( don't ask me why, i just told you i am a crazy) So tonight I get a huge glass, not even joking. I put a little less than a teaspoon in it and suck it down. When I get to the bottom of the glass I decide hell no, that shit was too thick. However, I was very proud of myself. I didn't read the warnings or anything. 10 minutes pass and I am thinking wow I am in the clear, no episodes. Until, I start sneezing. Not just one sneeze but like 7 sneezes in a row. I grabbed the damn bottle and started to look for allergy warnings and then out of nowhere I started laughing so hard I pretty much peed on myself. So I am here to tell the world that I am a crazy ass, yep no point at all to this post. Just a crazy ass here.

Side Note: No it wasn't freaking waterier, and yes it tasted okay.

10 comments:

RPM said...

I hope you never read the warnings for potato chips made with Olestra.

NucMEd is Hot said...

Sideefectia? Love it! You would hate the warnings on the tests I do! Heart attack, Shortness of breath, Death. Not in that order.

Brad said...

In one calendar week, we have gone from a steamy, play by play vibrator review, to a detailed description on what lengths you go to stay regular.

...this is why we love you.

Misplaced Country Girl said...

You could take Metamucil in a pill form. That's what I do. Of course it is a big pill and it says you have to drink an entire glass of water with it to avoid choking. Never mind, just drink the pink lemonade.

Danielle-lee said...

So, I just have to ask....why are you taking metamucil? you can get fiber in so many other ways that are non-choky. :)

Ken said...

Ahh JAG you have a talent for cracking me the fuck up! Thanks

rusty said...

Dude, I have that too!

Jormengrund said...

I kind of wonder what detail you're going to go into next?

Your daily morning breast exams maybe?

That'd be HAWT! :P

Loved the post JAG!

Muse said...

Why are you drinking that crap? You can get tons of high fiber from just eating high fiber poptarts (by fiber one and try their other products.lol)

Tracie said...

so... two pregnancys ago... yea, I understand how weird that sounds...

I had to have some of that everyday... I bought it mainly because it was "pink"... I thought, "hey, if it's going to taste like shit... it might as well be something pretty to look at"

I was suprised that the flavor was halfway decent... until you get to the thick substance bottom... ugh!