1.08.2009

SWF Looking for SMM- 34




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Single white female looking for Single Mute Male.

About me, I am 5'1 1/2, hazel eyes, cute, smart talented, outgoing and funny.

You be- hot, above 6' feet not 6 inches, rich, nice dresser and most importantly a mute. Yes that's right a MUTE. I am tired of the same old bar scene and the blah, blah, blah of most men these days. If you are hot and Mute you are the guy for me. No conversation needed! Just sit there and look hot, pay for my meal and shut the fuck up. 

If this ad interests you please respond with a pic. Thanks, Jag!

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I am telling you right now. If i ever posted an ad on craigslist that would be my ad, no freaking joke. I really hate the personals side of craigslist, I think it, in itself is an everyday home wrecker. I do however love to read the best of craigslist when I get bored. So for today's tin truths I give you. 

Tin Truths about the men on craigslist.

1. 98% of them cant see their penis
2. Most of them eat people
3. All of them will say they are single, most are married
4. They are not the person in the picture, that person is their uncle, minister someone.
5. This is for the men- "women don't want to see your ugly ass penis" oh crooked one
6. If the their ad has the word normal in it, they rode the short bus
7. If they say they are 30 they are really 45
8. If they say they are 40 they are really 55
9. If they want to offer you a massage they are closet gay and they want to be..........well u know
10. Bottom line if they are on craigslist looking for sex, something is wrong with them.

Side Note: If you or someone you know would like me to write a craigslist ad, I will offer my services for $25 an hour. I am a writer!

Side Note 2: Yes, it's pink duct tape.

25 comments:

The Accomplice said...

Good luck finding the "mute" one. I love craigslist to. Good reading on the best of....

Denney Crane said...

Having issues?

RPM said...

That is one pool I don't want to dip my toe in.

Muse said...

you mean people actually try to find a date on craigslist? LOL that's like finding one on ebay

i don't like the bar scene either, but i definately don't want my man to be mute. Because he definately has to make me laugh

Collectionsite said...

All men are pigs. But what do I know? It isn't that I look like a pig or anything.

WAY to funny. How do you know these facts about Craig's List?

Just Wondering ....

Collectionsite said...
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Ken said...

Again I se they have forgotten how to play the game!
This is how its done people!

1. I love being in the 2% range
2. Well yeah!
3. Nope I'm single, just ask my mother
4. No really its me I promise
5. Him I have never heard that one before?
6. Yep tat wood bee ta trooth
7. Oh come on its the same thing!
8. Or 60
9. Oh stop it you silly girl
10. And your there reading it because........

Side note: A writer of what?
Side note 2: Would it be any other color? I mean really!

Penny Lane said...

HA! This killed me. Especially the bit about the Craigslist dudes have crooked penises. They totally do.

Jormengrund said...

Ummm.. JAG, I have a point to make here:

If you're looking on Craigslist for dates, you get what you pay for..

Like my aunt used to say while looking for her future husband:

"All men are like parking spaces..

The good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped!"

just a girl... said...

I guess I should have clarified. I would never look for a date on craigslist. I found out two boyfriends in the past were cheating on me through craigslist. So the hate for the personal ads in craigslist has always been there.

just a girl... said...
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just a girl... said...
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just a girl... said...
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just a girl... said...
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just a girl... said...

sorry a little impatient this morning.

Misplaced Country Girl said...

I feel the same way about all on line dating. It's like one big carnival freak show. I too am looking for that mute guy. If you happen upon him find out if he has a mute brother or friend.

Ken said...

OKAY jag YOU HAVE BEEN WANTING A MUTE, WELL i WILL EMAIL YOU A PICTURE AND IF YOU WANT TO MEET THEN I WILL SET THAT UP FOR YOU!

OOPS, CAPS WAS LOCKED ON, WELL I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT OVER.

Lovely said...

:-)

Candice said...

I have wasted several hours of my life going through the craigslist ads.

Not because I was looking for a date, hell no. It was because I was shocked about how many "straight" men went there to find some ass to bang. And when I say ass, what I really mean is hairy male ass. That's right.. down low.

I would even gasp and tell Brent to come and look at what I was seeing. He's blind now from that incident because of all of the gay penis being flaunted about, but he never got as disgusted as I did about it. Hmmm. ;)

Anyway, good luck finding the mute. Unfortunately the other personality trait that goes along with that is retarded... and possibly impotent. Then again, you've got the rabbit so who gives a shit.

Tracie said...

So WIERD!

I actually was reading teh best off last night on my phone for like 2 hours!

That's what happend with you cant sleep...

My fave is the tranny that gives a blow job on the bus... ha ha! And the Tranny Voter!

liz said...

Pretty much spot on. They are all scumbags.

NucMEd is Hot said...

I am laughing out loud in my office right this second. When you find your mute, see if he has any mute friends

pinkjellybaby said...

I went through a stage where every guy I met would think it was ok to text me penis pictures. IT'S NEVER OK GUYS!!

Heather said...

I say I'm 40 but I'm really 35. Then people marvel at how young you look for your age.

chupacabra said...

Very good stuff girl.

I've had one good friend that had good luck using the internet for dating. Interestingly, I think the only reason it didn't turn sad, scary, pathetic, dangerous etc. is he did well enough already- he just used it to broaden his horizons and have some fun. Ohterwise I think it would mostly be sad, scary, pathetic, dangerous...