1.19.2009

Just a Thought #2



Sometimes I take 3 or 4 baths a day.... and sometimes I refill the bathtub, the same number of times. I have always said that in poker I have no tell, that isn't the case in the real world. If you ever see me get in the bath before 2pm, its a tell,  I am stressed or i am just going to my place. Either way don't invade.... and no, my space wasn't invaded.

I wonder why I do that, why I assume u will think something different. 
Is it because I am jaded?

Yes or No?

I have decided that I hate the word jaded, its overrated and misunderstood. It's not something I want to be or become. Throughout my life, I have only let a few people close to me.  I am loyal to a fault and I expect it from others. I assume the closest people to me wont hurt me, but they do. Not because of there opinions, but for their lack of support. In the same thought I wonder if its that, or  just my unrealistic expectations. 

Do we really want from people, what we give? 
Or is what we give, an excuse not to be judged later?

I don't know the answer,  none of us do. So we take life with a grain of salt and we don't ask why. I am becoming wiser. Watching my mind grow up is amazing and scary, all at the same time. The scary part is that we get older, we grow apart, we come to different conclusions and we make new chapters. My new chapter is starting now. I hope its so great that I never want to stop reading it. Thats the amazing part.

Side Note: No, this isn't about a guy. Just in case u assumed it was, lol.

8 comments:

Ken said...

I was thinking midlife crisses. But you are WAY to young for that. It good to have your own little place. I have mone now that I moved my office down stairs, and I am loving it.

Side note. I was the first person to post on both my favorite red heads blogs tonight. ITS A GOOD DAY!

RPM said...

Everybody needs a little "me time" now and then.

NucMEd is Hot said...

I have learned to love my solitude. I woudn't think any differently of you if you were jaded, but I don't think you truly are.

I like you am loyal and I do expect to in return This might explain the extremely tight circle of friends that I have and my rampant desire to keep it that way.

Jormengrund said...

Are you SURE there aren't times when you wouldn't mind being bothered?

I mean, if a tall, dark, handsome stranger were to suddenly walk in on you for the purpose of nothing more than making your walls scream, would you really complain?

Just asking!

Doberman Gang said...

Quiet place we all need it and it can be different for everyone (mine is a golf course Smack a white ball also equals stress relief) I believe that if you expect things from most people including friends will get you nothing but disappointment. Do what we believe is right and others do back it is a nice surprise.

Jannie Funster said...

We can only get a bath and a half out of our water heater every 2 hours.

abbienormyl said...

Splish, splash...enjoy your ME time & don't beat yourself up about it...first it was the kitties reaching under the door wanting to know what I was up to, then its the kids waving little fingers under the door, then its the old man just barging right on in...its all in the timing...ENJOY!!!

g-man said...

Sorry were you saying something profound? I was lost in imagination after bathtub ;) My wife takes lots of baths especially when she is not feeling well. That is her place of peace and quiet where she can relax, and perhaps become less jaded?