I love #9

I love me some lipgloss. Absolutely love it! One of my swapfest gifts was a trio of lipgloss by, benefit. I tend to only buy pink and clear lipgloss and I am very picky. When I got this set there were all sorts of colors in there. Gold, a purplish color etc. Everyone one of these lip glosses looks great on. The lip gloss itself is very thin which I love. This set won't be around for long so if you love it, get one quick.

Peace Love & Glossmate Set, by benefit ($26)

My First Interview.

Jormengrund had a post about interview questions and I jumped on board. So here goes.

1. You and your son are quite the pair. Define a "perfect" moment in your lives.

I know this is where I am suppose to say some deep moment that makes all you go awww. But I cant! I can't just pick one moment, its not even possible. Every moment with my son is perfect. When I was young I never wanted kids. My son has changed my life in so many amazing ways. Every Day I think I only get this day with him once, I live by this. I love his humor, his love and at this age his crazy ass ways. He truly does complete me.

2. What would be your "ideal man" if he existed?

For the record I think he exits, I just don't think he exists right now. I am a very independent, strong minded person. I want a man who not only understands that, but appreciates it. In that same breath I want a man strong enough to handle me, accept me, and calm me in times of my craziness. I always joke about money, but in reality I can make my own. I want a man who isn't jealous. One who is funny, honest and definitely not a hermit. Last but not least....My son has to like him! They don't have to love each other. But if my son doesn't like him there is no chance. Been there done that. I believe my prime age for marriage or settling down is 45. At that time I believe there will be plenty of the men above.

3. You have a list of 35 things to do before you turn 35. If you don't complete them, will it become 40 things to do before you turn 40, and what, if any, will change because of your age?

I will complete my 35 before 35. The list isn't about doing these things because of my age. I made this list to remind myself to make these next few months about me. To give myself an excuse to do things for me. I am going to make it a point to make one of these lists ever year.

4. You love girly-type things, and pink! Name something completely un-girly that you have as some kind of "mannish" secret.

I am very girly. I don't change oil or fix tires and I don't like to get dirty at all. I do love to fish. However, I don't like to bait my hook or take the fish off, sick!!!!! That being said I think its only fair to tell you this. When I go I have a pink pole, pink chair, pink lures and pink ice chest. That is no joke!

5. If you had one dream of yours that could come true, regardless of how outlandish it could be, what would you pick, and why?

If I only had one dream it would be that my son goes to college. That he Finds a nice normal woman and has a life with very few downs. 

Jormen, thank you so much this was a lot of fun. I will pass on the tradition if anyone wants 5 interview questions let me know!

Side Note: Those are my interview shoes.

Tin Truths 21

1. Last night I had frito pie and cookies

2. I am now hooked on Rockstar "shots"

3. I can feel tension in the air everywhere, its a strange feeling

4. I cringe when I drive through the toll road thingy

5. My son turns 14 on Sunday and I am trying to find drums.

6. I think I want a new kitty

7. Stupid people........drive me crazy.

8. Family and Friends have been off lately

9. I love adding machines

10. I don't like it when you take a drink, and you can feel it go all the way down.

Side Note: is it just me or does #7 sound like a country song?

WA #4

Go ahead you know you want to play.

Spoon :: Fed

Dice :: Damp

Mirror :: Mirror

Poster :: Child

Restroom :: Raiders

Creative :: Minds

Mice :: Men

Sex :: Talk

Taffy :: Taker

Lover :: Lock

Side Note: I want that pillow!

duck, duck, goose

Okay not really. Today I got tagged by Linda at "Silly Little Mischief". So here goes.

Make a list of things you can see without getting up:I am in my dream office to many things to list. flowers, candles, pics.

What were you like when you were five? Beautiful, talented, cute.....uhhh probably a brat.

What are you wearing now? a grey amy's ice cream shirt, blue pajama bottoms and a hello kitty bandanna on my head. Not so cute.

What story/book/novel have you read over and over again in your life? Gone with the Wind.

What’s the last thing you read/are currently reading? I hope there's beer in hell.

Do you nap a lot? No hardly ever. For some reason when I nap I wake up in a really, really bad mood.

Who was the last person you hugged? J

What’s your current fandom/obsession/addiction? Jason Miraz

What was the last thing you ate today? Boiled Egg

What was the last thing you said aloud? brown chicken brown cow

What websites do you always visit when you go online? MSNBC, Facebook, Sephora and BOA

What was the last thing you bought? Lip Gloss from Sephora

What are you listening to right now? The Gourds

What movie are (or were!) you most excited to show your kids? E.T.

If you could have any super power, what would it be? Invisibility

What is your favorite weather, and why? Sunny, and 70. I love the sun and a cool breeze always helps.

If you could eat anything right now what would it be? Sushi, Sashimi, Tuna Tartare, Sake, must I go on.

What is your most challenging goal right now? Losing 30 pounds.

Say something to the person who tagged you: Linda, I can't believe you own a snuggie. My step dad would be jealous.

If you could have a house–totally paid for, fully furnished–anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be? Italy

Favorite vacation spot? Vegas Baby

What is your favorite children’s book? Winn Dixie

Name one thing you just can’t resist no matter how bad it is for you: Vodka

If you could meet anyone famous - dead or alive - who would it be? Gus Hansen

What is your Mom's best asset? I wish I had my mom's legs, they are beautiful. love u mom!

TAGGED: You know the drill, whoever wants to play can. 

THE RULES:

Step 1: respond and rework—answer the questions on your own blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, add one more question of your own.

A funny thing happened to me.....

at the bar. This weekend I went to the little neighborhood dive bar. To call it a dive is an understatement. This place is beyond dive but the people are great. SO i sit at the bar and the guy next to me says "wow, is that you. you smell great". I say yes of course I smell amazing. Not really, but you get the point. He then says "I just got a new cologne its called come to me. Does it smell like cum to u". The only reason that this made me laugh is because the guy was very old. Old and still kicking out one liners at the bar, classic.

My cousin called me Friday afternoon to tell me that she had just booked a trip to Paris. She leaves in 5 days, now that is a whim. This reminded me how easy it is to travel. I am adding get a passport, to my 35 before 35.

My mom loves Jason Miraz. I turned her onto him at Christmas and I think that's really cool.

Anyways here are my two deep thoughts for the day.

1. I think its really sad when people rub their face in traffic. Sometimes when I watch people do it I can feel their stress. 

2. WTF is the deal with dateline, 48 hours etc. I realize they want there to be drama, but give me a break. These shows could be wrapped up in like 5 minutes, its grueling to watch. Especially when they take 5 minutes of show time to show you trees in the dark with dunt, dunt, dunt music. UGH!

Side Note: I read over 60 blogs, not even joking. I am always there reading. My mom made a comment that i haven't been commenting enough. So today I vow to make up for it. Sorry yall!

35 before 35..............#9 done

I admit I am off to a slow start on my 35 things to do before I turn 35. #9 was to give a homeless person a meal. I am not even sure why this one was on there, since I do this often.

Two Sunday's ago my cousin and I went to Starbucks and I completed my #9. I have always been the girl to give money and food to the homeless. My mom since I was little has always said give food not money. I bought the gentleman a sandwich, orange juice and a cookie. It makes me happy to know that he had a meal that day and when he said "God Bless You" I knew he meant it.

My dream is too win the lottery, or marry rich...lol. When I do, I will have my own homeless shelter. It wont just be about the shelter, it will be about helping those I can from the inside.

Side Note: 1 down 34 to go.

Tin Truths Twenty

1. Boiled eggs peel easier when you boil them in salt water.

2. On Tuesday, I beat two tables of boys in poker

3. I still need a new inspection sticker.

4. South Beach Diet is going to turn me into a chef

5. Obama's speech gave me goose bumps

6. My nose is raw from allergy's, raw!

7. I am so glad I found my two girlfriends from high school.

8. Still now wine, Still going through withdraw

9. I want to start bike riding, in search of pink bike.

10. My son turns 14 in 9 days, I am old!

Wed WA #3

You Know the drill. The first word that pops in your head.

Chevy :: Ford

Ratchet :: Clank

Moth :: Bugs

Calendar :: Club

Blue :: Balls

Design :: Star

Ink :: Tattoo

Watercolor :: Mom

Trust :: No one

Limp :: In

Side Note: This always cracks me up because I have to come back hour or so later and fill in my own words. Have a wondermus day.

Just a Thought #2

Sometimes I take 3 or 4 baths a day.... and sometimes I refill the bathtub, the same number of times. I have always said that in poker I have no tell, that isn't the case in the real world. If you ever see me get in the bath before 2pm, its a tell,  I am stressed or i am just going to my place. Either way don't invade.... and no, my space wasn't invaded.

I wonder why I do that, why I assume u will think something different. 

Is it because I am jaded?

Yes or No?

I have decided that I hate the word jaded, its overrated and misunderstood. It's not something I want to be or become. Throughout my life, I have only let a few people close to me.  I am loyal to a fault and I expect it from others. I assume the closest people to me wont hurt me, but they do. Not because of there opinions, but for their lack of support. In the same thought I wonder if its that, or  just my unrealistic expectations. 

Do we really want from people, what we give? 

Or is what we give, an excuse not to be judged later?

I don't know the answer,  none of us do. So we take life with a grain of salt and we don't ask why. I am becoming wiser. Watching my mind grow up is amazing and scary, all at the same time. The scary part is that we get older, we grow apart, we come to different conclusions and we make new chapters. My new chapter is starting now. I hope its so great that I never want to stop reading it. Thats the amazing part.

Side Note: No, this isn't about a guy. Just in case u assumed it was, lol.

I suck balls...not really!

Instead of not really, I should have said not literally. But then, all are a lie and yes we suck balls... women that is. Well men too at times. I give up, welcome to my world.

My whole point is that I said I was going to post daily. That didn't happen, I suck and have already screwed that up. 

Today we all get to see history take place. Regardless on where you stand on Obama, there is something to be said about witnessing history. Generally a tragedy takes place and it becomes history, today we watch it happen(history not a tragedy, lmao).

In other news I have lost 8lbs and south beach is going great. I have also realized that I am really good at darts. More on both of these another day. 

Side Note: Tell me one or eight things about your weekend, I would love to know!

Tin Truths 9 Teen

1. I have used my toy a bunch, and I freaking love it.

2. I am the biggest that I have been in years and I will have the weight gone by May.

3. I just realized the other day that washington, dc wasn't in washington. Dont Ask!

4. I am going to Hawaii next January and i want to fit my ass into a thong

5. I havent completed one of  my 35's before 35, I suck

6. Today I have read over 60 blog posts

7. My stocking this year was super cool, my fav gift was my pink mag lite  from my mom. 

8. I have vowed to stop drinking while dieting, well everything but vodka.

9. Its really Tuesday 

10. This is my 190th truth, wowzer.

Side Note: Go ahead give me one truth you know you want too.     

The high 5 seen around the world.

Let me start by saying that I don't like karaoke. I will admit I have been drunk and held my own with "baby got back". However, I don't like watching people that sing bad yet think they sing good. 

This being said you will understand why I DON'T watch american idol. Tonight I watched an hour of this with  my son and I realized two things. 

1. I am still in love with Simon, I want to rip off his white t-shirt and do dirty things to him.

2. Ryan Seacrest is a freaking tool and I am not even joking.

So tonight the last singer is BLIND, he sings amazing and his story is truly inspirational. He makes it to "hollywood" as they say and is given his golden ticket. He walks out the doors of the audition room and his family hugs and screams and there is laughter all around. 

UNTIL-

He turns around and Ryan Seacrest raises his hand to high five him. It was the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen and it was truly uncomfortable for me to watch. Then the tool says "by the way I am giving you a high five right now". My god what an idiot. The only good thing about the show tonight, was watching that moron make a total fool of himself. Its was like watching someone from afar wave at someone they thought they knew, and then witnessing the precious seconds after when they realize they don't.

Side Note: Everyone got mad when I didn't post where to get the "fuck walmart" shirt. So if you like the shirt above you can get it here.

It's a Love/Hate thing.

What I am loving right now. 

1. South Beach Diet- It doesn't feel like a diet, I do feel healthier.

2. Cucumbers w/hummus- Weird, but you wouldn't believe how good this is.

3. Adderall-1/2 a pill Sunday & I cleaned my whole house & made dinner. RX please!

4. Facebook- I found many friends from the past, 2  I hadn't talked to in 16years

What I am hating right now.

1. Wine with drawl- I haven't had wine in 5 days. Lord its a freaking record

2. V8- Every morning you have to have 1/2 a cup. UGHHHHHHHHHHH

3. Sneezing- Over the past 3 days I have been having sneezing attacks. Not fun.

4. Whiny ass people that make work and life hard. 

What are you loving/hating right now?

I love #8

This mascara is the best mascara ever. I cant comment enough on it. Its long lasting, it doesnt clump and it makes your lashes look amazing. I never realized until about a year ago what mascara can do for your eyes and the results are sparkling. Yes I just wanted to say sparkling but you get my drift. 

Lights, Camera, Lashes, by Tarte ($18)

Just a Crazy Here

I am truly lucky to even be alive right now. I am not sure how I made it through it but I did. Exactly one hour ago I drank a full glass of Metamucil and I didn't choke. Now you guys can laugh or think whatever you want but this was very touch and go. I have this little condition called sideefectia. I am sure most of you have already heard of this disease but for those that haven't I will explain. Whenever I read the side effects of a drug, pill, lozenge you name I get them. 

Okay maybe its not sideefectica its fucking hypochondria. 

Tonight I am cracking up as I sit here and write this, because I do realize how freaking crazy I really am.

A few years ago  after drinking an entire glass of metamucil, I read the choking warning. Now for most people that wouldn't be a big deal but for someone like me it was like sucking down insta choke. I could feel my throat closing and I swore I would never drink that shit again. And I didn't till tonight. 

The other day I went to the store and noticed that they had Pink Lemonade flavor and I got it. I figured it would be waterier. ( don't ask me why, i just told you i am a crazy) So tonight I get a huge glass, not even joking. I put a little less than a teaspoon in it and suck it down. When I get to the bottom of the glass I decide hell no, that shit was too thick. However, I was very proud of myself. I didn't read the warnings or anything. 10 minutes pass and I am thinking wow I am in the clear, no episodes. Until, I start sneezing. Not just one sneeze but like 7 sneezes in a row. I grabbed the damn bottle and started to look for allergy warnings and then out of nowhere I started laughing so hard I pretty much peed on myself. So I am here to tell the world that I am a crazy ass, yep no point at all to this post. Just a crazy ass here.

Side Note: No it wasn't freaking waterier, and yes it tasted okay.

Just a Thought

i love to take hot baths 

on cold days

i play with the bubbles 

and make water waves

i listen to nothing 

yet I hear it all

i look at myself

 fat and all

i love who I am 

and who I will be

i am going to find love

love for me

i made a vow

one i cant wait to fill

i will be single 

for at least 1 year from now!

SWF Looking for SMM- 34

----------------------------------------------------

Single white female looking for Single Mute Male.

About me, I am 5'1 1/2, hazel eyes, cute, smart talented, outgoing and funny.

You be- hot, above 6' feet not 6 inches, rich, nice dresser and most importantly a mute. Yes that's right a MUTE. I am tired of the same old bar scene and the blah, blah, blah of most men these days. If you are hot and Mute you are the guy for me. No conversation needed! Just sit there and look hot, pay for my meal and shut the fuck up. 

If this ad interests you please respond with a pic. Thanks, Jag!

-----------------------------------------------------

I am telling you right now. If i ever posted an ad on craigslist that would be my ad, no freaking joke. I really hate the personals side of craigslist, I think it, in itself is an everyday home wrecker. I do however love to read the best of craigslist when I get bored. So for today's tin truths I give you. 

Tin Truths about the men on craigslist.

1. 98% of them cant see their penis

2. Most of them eat people

3. All of them will say they are single, most are married

4. They are not the person in the picture, that person is their uncle, minister someone.

5. This is for the men- "women don't want to see your ugly ass penis" oh crooked one

6. If the their ad has the word normal in it, they rode the short bus

7. If they say they are 30 they are really 45

8. If they say they are 40 they are really 55

9. If they want to offer you a massage they are closet gay and they want to be..........well u know

10. Bottom line if they are on craigslist looking for sex, something is wrong with them.

Side Note: If you or someone you know would like me to write a craigslist ad, I will offer my services for $25 an hour. I am a writer!

Side Note 2: Yes, it's pink duct tape.

Wed WA #2

You know the drill... first word that pops in  your head. I wonder what popped into your head when I said drill and head in the same sentence. Nevermind,  just play already.

Head :: Games

Green :: Lantern

Water :: Babies

Sing :: Song

Death :: Match

Long :: Turn

Ship :: Shot

Count :: Dracula

Window :: Warrior

Friendly :: Fame

Side Note: I really love this game

I hate Walmart..... HATE

I will never understand the people in our lives who get irritated when we are grumpy, when were sick. Go ahead and try to understand that much less say it 3 times fast. So this post isn't going to be all rainbows and unicorns.

I hate Wal-Mart, and I no longer care if people think that makes me a snob. That store sucks ass. I am not sure if its the store I hate or the majority of the people. I went there today because I had to return the playstation 2 that I had got my son for Christmas. Long story short ...I got him the playstation 3 instead, which I love by the way. 

so I go there today to return my item and I decide I am going to walk through the garden section. This way I don't have to walk through hoards of heathen children and freaks who look like they are on acid. Speaking of acid looking freaks, if you are one of these acid freaks don't get all sensitive on me this isn't about you. As I am entering the garden section, troll man stops me and says I cant go through his door with my returns. He says all returns must go through the main doors. At this point my heads starts spinning and green vomit starts protruding out, okay not really. But I did tell this man that I would like to see him stop me. 

I make it to the customer service aka " freak center" and that is when I realized that people are weird. Maybe its that I am hyped up on Nyquil or maybe it was that everyone around me was creeping me the fuck out. I hate that feeling, you know the one where you feel like you are in the middle of an acid party that no one told you about. When you look around you and you wonder are people really this fucked up. 

Anyhow no point to this story, I am still sick, still high on nyquil and still hate walmart.

Side Note: Please tell me that I am not the only one that has seen the freaks come out at walmart.

Suck it FLU!

I am going to try very hard to post every day this year. So while my brain is in "Nyquil Land", I will give it to you old school.

I have decided this year to do a bit of a format. So Mondays will now be for me to ask you what I want to know. 

1. If time machines were real, would you go forward or backward?

I would go forward, I so want to see the future. I want to see the 2200's

2. Do you think Marijuana should be legal?

yes

3. What is one thing you will do differently this year?

stay single.

Side Note: I would sooooooo buy a Nyquil slurpee!

Just A Review...........

I never thought I would be doing a review on a vibrator. I don’t own boxes of sex toys and I’m not a crazy sex addict. I was asked, “What made me think I was qualified to do a review”. I realized I am the perfect person to do these reviews. I’m just a girl, I am honest and I will represent all the 34-year-old women well.

My “Waterproof Jack Rabbit” aka “WJR” was on its way and I didn’t know what to expect. I was told it would ship in 48 hours, and it did. The package is beyond discreet, and the return address is a xyz corporation, stealth mode folks.

I opened the box and there she was in all her glory. I call her she vs. he, because we are a team. The WJR was pink of course, and at first glance was extremely intimidating. My first thought was this thing is huge. I don’t mean like “oh I am so small, huge” I mean like “lord that thing is the size of my arm, huge”. Once I got over the shock I took her out and I felt like I was in a cartoon. Instead of money signs flashing in my eyes it was big “o’s”, lmao.

To read the rest of my review click here.

I have used this a few more times and I love it, sorry mom. I only posted part of my review out of respect to others. If you want to read the full review then please click on the link above. I was cracking myself up the other night. I told my mom that I should be the poster child for Vibrators. I am getting use out of mine and I can't wait to review the next one. I am 34 and this is and was the first time I climaxed from a Vibrator, shocking I know. I cant scream from the rooftops, get a vibrator bitches. But I can let the world know my experiences. 

Side Note: " No animals were harmed or injured during the testing of this product".

HNY

Happy New Year. I decided I was going to start my new year on the 2nd instead of the 1st. 

Typically I don't make new years resolutions. Yes, I might say I want to lose weight or make some other ridiculous resolution but generally by Mid February those thoughts are gone. This year I have decided that 2009 will be the year for me. I will make a conscious decision to do things for me and to make this year about me. Over the past few years I have spent so much of my time worried about other people and worried about other things. I have lost sight of me of what I want of things I need or want to do. Its sad really and it all stops here. I am going to be 35 this year and I am  not wasting anymore time. 

I am excited to see what this new journey bring. I hope its a great year for all.

Side Note: Yes, I have the calendar.