7.22.2008

Dreams


For some reason the only dreams I get are when I am awake. If sleeping is involved its pure nightmares for me. I am glad these come and go throughout the year, versus claiming permanent residence in  my head. Last night was no different, when I woke up this morning I was thankful. Dark Water, Being in a boat(although I know the cause of that one, a reality show), and the weirdest part of all spaceships and human aliens. This is the 4th or 5th time in the past two weeks that my nightmares have involved a spaceship landing somewhere and changing my world into something different. NO! I dont need a interpreter. Its obvious because of  my current situation.

Hypocrites- Its amazing to me how many of these have crossed my path in 45 Days. Donkey vs. A Bluff, Ghetto Fabulous, Choice A or Choice B, A Festival and Cheating, Creep at the bar and his feelings are hurt, Abandonment, Loyalty,  A Personal Ad put up one day after my Birthday(I should have known better after the first time).

the best vanilla shake is made with bluebell homemade vanilla ice cream and borden's hi-protein milk.

On a good note, I only have 3 more days left in this place. In three days I get to spend the day with my family and I cant wait. A whole day with my mom, man could it get any better. Well no but a pink shirt, pink chair and really cute pink ice-chest will help to make the day a memorable one.

I never thought he could hurt me as bad as he has. I literally go through more emotions then a crazy girl on pms throughout the day. I want to grab him and tell him how much I love him, I want him to hold me and tell me how much he loves me and how much I mean to him. Going to bed is the hardest and I cry ever single night. In the same 10 minutes I am angry and think about his betrayal and rejection and total lack of loyalty or strength to make anything better. I think of cheating at festivals, and personal ads and its almost more then I can take. We will walk away from this situation, and I will become a better person because of it. And one day he will look back and realize that he made a mistake, he didnt just loose a lover, he lost a friend.

30 Day Goals- Loose weight- Start my journey to find the best cupcake place in Austin- Learn how to make one great salad or seafood dish- Paint 

I cant wait for 6 months, I will look back on these entries, and be so happy at how far I have come. tonight I so deserve Sushi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

1 comment:

Rrramone said...

hint: you ALWAYS deserve sushi!!