Saturday morning I woke with wet eyes. I really thought my bed was going to hold me hostage. But a little bird flew in my room and whispered in my ear, wash your face and put on something pink....and that is exactly what I did.
It truly amazes me the power that pink actually has on me. It is a saving grace.
Luck isnt part of it folks, its pure skill. I dont know why when a girl sits at a table to play a game and indeed is the minority. The majority feels the need to believe, "wow she's lucky" lol. I am not lucky, this is my passion. Just like family, sex, sushi, dirty martini's and bubble baths. I could go on but I wont. Bottom line: My dream will come true, because I am going to make it come true!!!
There are certain lessons in life, you learn way too late. One of those being, you get different needs met from different people. At 34 I'm embarrassed to say that I never really grasped that concept, fully. I wont ever have my palms read and I dont throw sticks down to see the future. However I do believe in the profile of ones sign, mine is a strong one. I am very loyal and expect the same from those around me. During this process I am in right now, that statement above has never been more relevant. I find myself resenting those around me, who arent able to give back what I feel I give so freely.
I now know why people are fatter in Texas. It's because the appetizers are becoming meals. Seriously, my partner and crime and I, ordered 3 appetizers. Why 3, because these are small hence the name, you eat them before a meal. So imagine the shock of trying to look cute and have a few half bites, when all of a sudden a buffet is placed on your small table. Horrifying and I'm not even being dramatic. So then what do we do, what the hell do you think we did. We started giving everyone that was anywhere near the scene of the crime. FOOD.
Random is something I have always been and will always be its makes me me.
For 3 years off an on, I have made the shake call. Interpret that as you will, but it is exactly that a shake call. Last night was no different, except the answer was no. When I finally got to pillow land, I reached out again. I have been reaching out for over a year now, but I get nothing back. Not unless the reaching out comes with tears. These are the things I have to remember when he is gone.
He is getting to big, growing to fast, how proud I am to say that he is mine. The one good thing I have done in my life, and the one good thing that I give back. Yes at this point you know there are two.
For the record its day 17