Tin Truths Twelve

1. This weekend I am going to a "Hogeye" Festival and I cant wait.
2. Tuesday night I met a DILF and the D isn't for Dad or Dude
3. Sunday I ate 2 dozen oysters in one sitting 
4. Today my boobs are the size of grapefruits, or large oranges
5. I won Amy's contest over @ Life of a Nguyener and I am pretty excited about it
6. If I had to name one animal that I feel like, it would be a HIPPO
7. I want to lose 15 pounds so I can buy a pair of J Brand Jeans 
8. I think my X and I are finally over the drama, and have agreed to be friends
9. My son got a mild concussion this week and I am re-thinking football BIGTIME
10. The second it got cold outside I started craving slurpee's, something is wrong with me

Side Note: Ken, thank you so much for the pic.


Jormengrund said...


I'd have to say that aside from reading these, I really can't relate to them (being a guy).

However, I can actually wish for some decent weather so that I can get some kind of yardwork done this weekend before my wife's big Halloween Bash!

Brad said...


Duck Farmer
Dildo Designer
Douche Nozzle
Drunken Homeless Guy with a Lisp
Dented Volvo
Drano Salesman
Dick York (from "Bewitched")
Dimpled Virgin

Help me out...

Jenn And The City said...

Just for the record, football was the only high school sport my brother DIDN'T get hurt playing. Don't ask me to explain tennis. I don't think he's over the humiliation yet.

Heather said...

Dork? Dishwasher? Dentist?

Dan da Man said...

2. Does it stand for Dan?

3. I ate 7 slices of pizza in one sitting yesterday

4. Prove it

6. Monkey for me only because we have something in common we love to throw feces

7. Take a knife and start cutting that weight off

10. No argument here of course its 30 degrees and I am still in shorts and a t shirt so yeah.

just a girl... said...

jormen- I am super glad that you cant relate to #2, I dont think your wife would be pleased. Unless you guys are into that kindof thing, weird.

Brad- I really love Duck Farmer, you are soooooo close though. Okay maybe not.

Jenn- You will have to blog about that, toooo funny.

Heather- You people are cracking me up, i cant belive no one has guessed it yet.

Dan- It does not stand for Dan. And what is it with men and their pizza. My son can eat a large all by himself.

Practically Joe said...

Please don't take this the wrong way ... but coincidence has it that I'm on a grapefruit diet.
What are the odds?

And ... like Brad did ... I'm going to take a stab at the "D" word.
Is it "donut"?
Do you really, really like crullers? Jelly sticks?

Ken said...

1.Okay, whats a "Hogeye"?
2.I need to know what all of it means
3.I wish I would of been there after that!
4.That's what I need is more to love about you!!
5.I'm pretty excited right now too. (see #4)
6.Hippo's are fine as long as you don't piss them off.
7.I can help with that
8.That does help
9.Ohh Mom he will be alraight....
10.Not as far as I see

Side note: What kind of stalker would I be if I didn't share in your passion.

If you haven't yet check your e-mail... I have something for you!

Heinous said...

I'm trying to keep my son away from football. Time will tell. So is there an oyster/boob connection here or did I read that wrong?

Queen-Size funny bone said...

i hope you made use of those oysters.

NucMEd is Hot said...

1. I'm truly scared of the word "Hogeye" Please never use it again.

2. Dick?

3. Barf

4. Mine are always that way. I paiad for it. Best money I ever spent.

6. Sloth

7. Don't know about J brand jeans, but I need to lose 15 so I can wear a garter and have some inappropriate pictures taken

8. You're better than I am. I don't stay friends.

10. There is nothing wrong with you that isn't wrong with the rest of us.

just a girl... said...

joe- no not donuts but def creative

ken-you are my hero i cant believe you found those cookies, you are freaking awesome.

heinous- i so wish there was an oyster/boob connection but no still a virgin

queen- see comment above I am in no sex hell

karen- holy shit you are cracking me the hell up! like spit red bull out my nose, cracking me up.

Side Note: for those of you who want to know about Hogeye http://www.elgintx.com/HOGEYE.ASP

and no its not hog eyes. lmao right now

GoteeMan said...


Doctah (New York Doctor)
Digitally controlled ....
Dapper Dan
Dirty Rotten Scoundrel
Dord (Cross between a doofus and a nerd)
Doughnut Puncher
Dynamic Monkey Butt

I give up...
P.S. I increased the font JUST FOR YOU... JUST A GIRL


Dan said...

I want a hummer....

nikki said...

I love slurpees!!!! They rock, especially if you mix coke and cherry together.

Tiffany said...

Oh I LOVE hippos. And please tell me the D isn't for dog. LMAO

Moe Wanchuk said...

Any chance you could post of picture of the b**bs? I think we should decide how big.

I call myself DILF....the guys at work think it stands for
Dork I'd Like to Fight


Giggle! said...

HAHAHAHA Hey I'm curious!! What DOES the D stand for? LMAO!

Thanks for your comment in my neck of the woods!

And I LOVE your blog with touches of pink everywhere!

ANd your profile pic... just about licked the screen!!!

Can ya tell I'm craving sugar!!!!!

:-D xx

Giggle! said...

.... it's donuts isn't it... I could just about FEAST on a donut!!!

Ok if I were to say F*ck a donut.. that would have just been TOO weird! :-P xx

Just Kim U said...


Athena said...

What the hell is a HOGEYE festival? Also I dislike hummers, but if I just HAD to drive one, it would definitely be the pink one.

Midlife Slices said...

1. Only in Texas...or Oklahoma.
2. Doofus?
3. I can do that too.
4. Stop bragging.
5. O.k. again...stop bragging.
6. you and me both.
7. you and me both X's 2
8. Good luck with that one.
9. Join the club.
10. eww...slurpee's.

Now I have to ask Ken....did I do it right???

just a girl... said...

gotee man- you win! unfortunately that doesnt mean shit. Its Doctor but for the record it would never be a new york Doc.

Dan- The question is do you want it to be Pink?

Niki- As i said last night 75% coke 25% cherry

Tiffany- Cracking me the hell up with Dogs

Moe-Ask and you shall receive

giggle- the Donut thing was huge I think my readers all have a hole festish. Sorry guys couldnt help myself on that one.

Just Kim- read next post after all the questioning I had to give it its own.

Athena- I would never drive a hummer! But I love that its pink.

Midlife- Cracking me up, ken is going to love you for this. you might have a new stalker unless he already stalks.

Ken-Thanks again for the cookies you got, YOU ROCK!

Ken said...

Well we set a new record 3 and a 1/2 people played the game Wahoooo.
Next week we might ret 5.

and JAG, you want it I'll get it I know people... and a few animals , if that is ever needed!