Finish This Sentence

Finish This Sentence

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1. My ex...will realize it, when it's too late

2. Maybe I should...think twice before being so intimate on FB.

3. I love....my life!

4. People would say that I'm...loyal.

5. I don't understand why..life is so complicated

6. When I wake up in the morning.....I am immediately ready to start my day.

7. I lost my..... ability to say no to a cute kitty kat.

8. Life is full of.... unanswered questions.

9. My past is... just that my past!

10. I get annoyed... with stupidity. 

11. Parties are.... great with the right company.

12. I wish.... my sister was still alive.

13. Dogs… sloppy and loud.

14. Cats.... are loyal.

15. Tomorrow....I will finish a major spreadsheet.

16. I have low tolerance....for people with no sense of urgency.

17. If I had a million dollars... I would start a homeless shelter.

18. I'm totally terrified... of the dark.

19. My spouse is.... someone I hope is out there for me.

20. My life is...filled with a beautiful son, an amazing mother and great friends and family

The Mix Tape

So I totally stole this from Facebook and I love it.

Write down 20 songs you can't imagine going very long without listening to. Don't take more than 10 minutes to do this.

1. My Kinda Lover- Billy Squire

2. Giving It for your love- Delbert McClinton

3. Reach Out-Breedlove

4. Wedding Day-Rosie Thomas

5. Realize Colbie Calbert

6. Dont do me like that- Tom Petty

7. Coming Around Again- Carly Simon

8. Everything things going to be alright-Bob Marley

9. Slacker- Tech Nine

10 No one -Alicia Keys

11. Jack and Diane-John Cougar

12. Footloose-Footloose

13. i'm yours - Jason Miraz

14. Only you - Yaz

15. It's tricky - Run Dmc

16. Amaratine enya

17. Wild world- Cat Stevens

18. Babys gotten good at goodbyes- George Straight

19. Margaritaville-Jimmy Buffet

20. Moon Gone Down-The Gourds

Side Note: My mix sooooooo beats your mix!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tin Truths 23

1. I am gone for 5 days and I got a new follower...that is awesome

2. Tomorrow I leave for San Antonio to see a friend I haven't seen in years.

3. People with no sense of urgency make me crazy.

4. I wonder why the small fry and coke at Mc Donald's are so freaking good.

5. All day I have been in Spreadsheet Hell.

6. I am finally going to return my Christmas present from the x, for a Coach I like!!!!!

7. Guitar Hero still rocks.

8. I feel really guilty when I go 5 days without blogging.......sorry guys!

9. I really wish my feet could wear sneakers.

10. I hate walking through the grass in my backyard. All because 5 years ago a neighbor saw a snake!

Valentines Day Shout Outs

To all the married people- Well you made it this far so I hope you go to sleep tonight in a big wet spot. 

To all the newlyweds- Don't overdue it! You are going to have years of this bullshit. I hope you go to sleep in a big wet spot.

To all the couples- You will have the best Valentines of all, you are still in the testing stages. Therefore, I hope you don't go to bed in a wet spot. 

To all the single people- We are the luckiest of them all. Tomorrow we will still be single. I hope you go to sleep in a big wet spot.

To Jag- I know when you woke up this morning and heard the conversation  in the other room, it hurt a little. I am soooooo proud of you for not crying. You are way better off. We have such an exciting year ahead of us. I know tonight you wont go to bed in a big wet spot. So pull out that bad ass rabbit and think about all the other people that will. That is sure to do the trick.

Side Note: I hate Valentines Day. I always have, I think its overrated. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving and I can't wait for November.

GO AHEAD SEND A SHOUT OUT

SEND IT TO ANYONE

JUST SEND ONE.

I just have to know....

can lizards become rabid or rabies struck or whatever you call it. I know you guys think I must go to bed with lizard nightmares, but I don't. I actually like to watch them I just don't like it when they start acting like loonies. 

I was outside a few minutes ago and this lizard jumped from the table to a charcoal bag. Then he started moving his mouth really fast. Like he was talking, it was weird and I didn't like it. All I kept thinking is this rabies infested fucker better not jump on me. I then proceeded inside where I will stay until he founds a new area to terrorize. 

Side Note: Everyone enjoy your weekend.

Tin Truths Twenty Two

1. I finally got to play with my darts on Tuesday and I love them.

2. The quotes on the starbuck's cups are gay!

3. Every time I get a pain in my chest I think I am going to have a heart attack.

4. This will be my first Valentines day as a single girl in 4 years, and I love it.

5. I really love Afroman's song Colt 45.

6. I don't like oregano, garlic or cilantro.

7. I never get tired of hearing the church bells that ring every hour.

8. I had a horrible dream last night that Blackie came back from the grave.

9. I hope I never have that dream again it was creepy

10. Some days I wish I was a turtle, today isn't one of them.

Here is the rest of the story!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight I went to the bar and played my weekly night of poker. I didn't win and that's not even the point. About a month ago, I met this gentleman who was a lot older and was a successful business man. I was the young girl at the table as I normally am, and he was an elder. Throughout the night this man and I had some interesting conversations. At one point we started talking about the homeless, a subject I am very passionate about. A subject that I can promise, you don't want to debate about with me. Why? Because I will win. During this conversation the "elder" asked me what I would do if I had unlimited money to devote to the homeless.

I explained to him that I felt like homelessness wasn't just about drug addicts, alcoholics and the mentally ill. I told him this was my passion and I believed that the problem was that we weren't helping these people from the inside out. I am not a naive girl! I realize that there are people out there that choose this life. But I also believe with all my  heart that there are also people out there that know, no other way. If you sleep on the streets and you get used to the lifestyle, a part of you starts to believe that this is you. Your self esteem gets depleted and in a lot of ways you get broke down. How is this any different than women that are abused? How is this any different than children that grow up in homes that are anything but healthy? I don't care if you are on drugs, a drunk or just mentally beat down. I believe that we all deserve a chance, and who are any of us to say if and when these people have blown through there chances. I told him that if I had unlimited money, I would help these people mentally. I wouldn't shave them, feed them, give them clean clothes and send them on there way. I would try and help them from the inside. To help them fill full and whole again. I am in no way a saint. But I can tell you that I have no right to throw stones, and those people are no better than you and I. That night the "elder" told me about how much money he had. About how I should come in there on Monday and "pitch" this to him. About how he had so much money and he could help. Bullshit, you are just some fucking guy in a bar. Some guy that has no idea where these people come from.

Fast Forward to tonight. I see the same guy. Do you think he remembers me? NO! Do you think he remembers our conversation? NO! 

So tonight me being the "young in" that I am. He again decides to go deep. I am so up for the challenge. He asks me what I think about the economy and what I think is going to happen to us as a country. 

This is what I told him. I am a 34 year old woman with a 14 year old son and I have never been so scared in my life. Everyday I feel the doom and gloom all around me and its eats me up inside. I still think of myself as a child and in these moments I feel more grown up then I ever have. Am I scared, hell yeah. How could I not be. But I am a devil's advocate kind of girl So for me the worst case scenario is a given. I tell him that I refuse to live in fear over this one topic. I tell him that I relate this to "little house on the prairie". They lived without electricity, they lived for each other off the land. NO, I am not a tree hugger. I too have taken more than I have needed just like the rest of us. But our worst case is what. Our worst case scenario is this. If things get really bad then as a country we start to combine efforts. Children move in with mom's, Grandmother's move in with Children. As a country we come together as a unit. We reach out and we help our neighbor. Bottom lime we will all get through this together. That is what America is about. We show our strength and our unity and no matter how bad it gets we give the next generation something to be proud of. Just like the generations before us. We find unity and this brings us closer, how can that be a bad thing in the end. After this conversation the "elder" tells me I should come work for him. What a joke! I tell him "you can't afford me" you don't even get it.

I believe in my hearts of heart that I am a good person. I don't know where I stand with God and in some ways that gives me an easy way out. It would be so easy to blame him for all that is wrong. The sad part of that is that the older I get I realize that all that is wrong, we have caused. What a sad revelation.

People get over yourself, we are all scared. If you are reading this thinking I am being dramatic, well than you are full of shit. I am just speaking what so many of us are afraid to voice. We are all scared. Its not about being scared its about how we deal with it. 

Sorry to be soooooooo blah. But as Christina says " life isn't all peace, love and unicorns".

NRTR #88

It makes me laugh to think that the whole reason I started blogging, was because of my X. I didn't want my family to have to hear about the escapades one more time and I thought it would be a great place to vent, to speak my mind and ultimately a place for just me. Last night I went back and read all my posts from the beginning. I wanted to see how far I had come and in that I realized how truly RANDOM I am. My writing is all over the place so thanks for "getting" me and sticking around.

My X is still just that an X. I had initially thought that we were going to be able to stay friends. UHHHHH no, not the case. No need to even get into details. But I will tell you this. People don't change. They may be able to change habits, but the core of who that person is will never change. I am looking forward to  lots of meaningless hook-ups in 09. I have had one so far at it made me realize that maybe I need to be changing my age group to 40 and above, lol. 

Work has been crazy busy and at the end of the day my brain is truly fried! I have to get a laptop within the next month. Any Advice?

My son is awesome as always. I didn't think a set of drums would change his life as much as it has. I knew I would hear deafening banging for eternity but I didn't know my garage would turn into the 8th grade clubhouse. It's cool though. Everyday it amazes me how different boys are from girls. I never had a brother so this is my first experience with boys. It has taught me a lot, he is so laid back and just has different priorities. Last night he informed me that Saturday afternoon the party was in his domain, lol. How great it must be to have no worries.

That's really all I have folks. Have a great Tuesday!

Insert Creative Title Here............

-I really love vanilla yogurt with honey. When you put honey in yogurt, it hardens a bit like candy. It so freaking yummylicious.

-Yesterday Afternoon I was mad that I still hadn't received my darts. Damn UPS Man....Last Night I went and checked my mail and there were  my darts. So that's what they meant by standard mail? Major blond moment, they had been here since Friday.

-My Son is loving his drums and has made the garage into his man-cave.

-I find myself saying "turn that down" more and more and I hate it. 

-I am an amazing kisser! I don't even really need to be told, I am that confident. To me there is nothing sexing then a great kiss. 

-I wish it was still Friday. 

-It's raining here and I have decided to wear my pink sock monkey pj's all day!

How was your weekend?

Side Note: Yes I have those PJ's! They were my Christmas eve gift from my son.

Side Note 2: My uncle got me the same ones. I kept both pairs :)

Crazy joke from an old guy at the bar.

If it takes 5 coconuts to make a 1/2 pint of coconut oil..............where does baby oil come from?

No Sex Before Marriage....

...........NOT!

I don't know what is happening but I am stuck in song- one liner mode, and it's killing me. First it was "if you want it then you better put a ring on it". Next I moved on to "only the cool people", then "hi-hat with a suped-up tempo" and now "no sex before marriage". wtf?

So I have to tell you that I am truly shocked at how many people don't know what Frito Pie is. Seriously, do they only have these in Texas? If I was creative enough, I would do an ode to Frito Pie because it's freaking awesome. It's crunchy, gooey, golden-ness. "so all you fly brothers" do you see, I just can't stop. Any who here is the best way to eat it.

Heat a can of Homel chili, then take a small bag of Fritos, cut the top off, and pour the chili on top of the Fritos. Waahlah its that simple. Now you can add cheese, onions, queso, jalp....well you get the picture. This stuff is a Texas staple and if you haven't had it, make it tonight!

Does anyone else have a similar story with food they eat, but others are clueless about?

Side Note: Don't even get me started on eggo's and no they aren't waffles!

Side Note 2: Was does the spork always make the food taste better?

What I want to know......

Today I am going to change things up a little. Tin Truths will be back next Thursday. Today I need answers and I want to know some of your truths. So go ahead and play or just keep lurking, lol.

1. How does the dryer catch fire from drying?

2. Do you prefer short blogs or long blog posts?

3. What is one thing you wish you could have in your life right now? can't be money or love.

4. Do you like to hear bird chirping?

5. What is the one product that you can't live without?

6. What is the most embarrassing song on your ipod?

7. What is your worst/best quality?

8. What is the weirdest food you like to eat?

9. If you could go anywhere right now, where would it be?

10. Do you believe Obama will make a change?

Side Note: The dryer is $300. It's vintage and if you want to buy it click here.

Holy Cow..........

I just saw this over at "Life of a Nguyener" and I had to post it on my blog. Everyone has to watch this, if you haven't already. The little boy David just got out of the dentist.

Is it Weird?

Is it weird that.............

I keep singing "if you like it then you better put a ring on it"

When I go to sleep I play guitar hero in my head

When I am in the bathroom and busy, that sometimes I have to check for snakes coming from the sewer

I have lengthy conversations with myself

After a night of drinking I can see better

I still crave mashed potatoes with lemon juice

I can chug Red Bull

I tried a few days ago to lick my elbow for like 7 minutes, all cause someone said you couldn't

just wondering..............

Side Note: Yes I ordered those darts and no they aren't here yet

Bonnaroo........

I have brought up Bonnaroo before, and most of you were like WTF? Bonnaroo is a musical festival held in TN and to says its big, is an understatement. Last Year in April, my X and I decided we would make the trip in June. At first I was a little weary but going VIP changed my mind quickly. Me being the researcher I am, took the next couple of months to research everything I could about the festival. The weather, the food, you name it I researched it. 

This festival is absolutely massive, 80K people massive. Its a 4 day festival on a huge farm and everyone camps out for the duration. Inside the farm there are two camp areas one called general admission and one called VIP. I was in VIP! Over 4 days they bring in a ton of amazing musicians, comedians, etc. They literally turn this farm into a mini city that resembles a circus/carnival/festival. 

I was so excited when I went last year because in one setting I was going to see BB King, Willie Nelson, Pear Jam, Metallica, OAR, Chris Rock and the list goes on. The festival didn't disappoint. Seeing BB King was one of the coolest shows I have ever seen and Pearl Jam rocked it. Yes, I just said rocked it. Inside the "city" there was so much to do. Film tents, comedy tents and more music than you could imagine. 

I had one of the best times ever. I met a great group of friends and had a bit of an awakening. Not in a tree hugging, psychedelic, trippy awakening. But more like a kumbaya awakening, lol. To see that many people in one setting, all happy to be there and all experience the same thing but in different ways. Well, it had to of been how Woodstock felt on a smaller scale.

Last night I stayed up and couldn't wait for the 09' lineup to be announced. I wondered how could they possibly top 08'.

this is how.

Bruce Springsteen, Beastie Boys, Nine Inch Nails, Snoop Dog, WILO, Merle Haggard, MGMT, Al Green and the list goes on and on. 

So yes I am now trying to figure out how to make this possible again.

Side Note: I had the most amazing beer when I was there "Sweetwater Blue" and I can't wait to get me some more. It has a blueberry flavor, love it, love it, love it.

Brown Chicken Brown Cow

How is it that I am 34 and two weeks ago was the first time that I ever heard this. I am hip to the bow chicka bow wow days. Furthermore, why can't I stop saying it. I feel like a teenager that just heard Bangkok for the first time. 

So in typical random fashion here goes.

Toothpaste- If you can't stand the cap off the toothpaste I am not the girl for you . In an effort to clean up my tp act, I bought the stand up tube. Note to others: All toothpaste gets dry if you don't replace the cap, ughggggg.

Drinking the Koolaid- Bottom line I need more of you to drink the jag koolaid. I will be changing some things up very soon. Including a post on Sunday's for the boys! It will be full of  T&A, beer, sports, new! Your Welcome, Ken!

Pink Darts- Save it I already, I know how obsessed I am. I thought this game was a retarded boy game. After playing now 11 times I am freaking hooked. So in order to make it a little more girly, I ordered pink darts and they come in today.

Post Secrets- Seriously I don't like this site. I go there here and again to make sure I don't like it. Every time after about 5 minutes of reading I feel doom and gloom, not fun folks.

Finally, humor me! Tell me something you did this weekend, Tell me a random fact, Tell me what snack you ate while watching the game. I don't care but TELL ME SOMETHING. I want all lurkers to post, say hi, post blank, I don't care just post.

Side Note: I apologize in advance for getting this title stuck in your head. 

Side Note 2: Actually I don't!

Side Note 3: For all the of you that don't GET IT. Brown chicken brown cow sounds alike like old 60-70's porn. You know Bow chicka Bow wow?

To B:

14 years ago today I fell in love with you. The day you were born it changed my life forever. You in that instant became the most precious person in my life. For weeks and weeks I watched you sleep, smile, laugh and grow. Today you are 14 and you have grown into such a beautiful young man. You tower me now and instead of "mom" I get called "shorty", thank you for that I love it. I am so proud of the man you are becoming. You humor is infectious to all around you and your smile takes my breath away. I know in a lot of ways we are raising each other. We are such a great team and we have perfected the " learn as you go". Yes, as I am writing this, tears are streaming down my face. Not because I am sad, but because I am so proud to be your mom. I know it will be years before you read this. But when you do know that today was a wonderful day. You played your drums and yes your mom is attempting to make a carrot cake. I love you so much. Happy Birthday Baby.

Love, 

Shorty (aka, mom)

I love #9

I love me some lipgloss. Absolutely love it! One of my swapfest gifts was a trio of lipgloss by, benefit. I tend to only buy pink and clear lipgloss and I am very picky. When I got this set there were all sorts of colors in there. Gold, a purplish color etc. Everyone one of these lip glosses looks great on. The lip gloss itself is very thin which I love. This set won't be around for long so if you love it, get one quick.

Peace Love & Glossmate Set, by benefit ($26)

My First Interview.

Jormengrund had a post about interview questions and I jumped on board. So here goes.

1. You and your son are quite the pair. Define a "perfect" moment in your lives.

I know this is where I am suppose to say some deep moment that makes all you go awww. But I cant! I can't just pick one moment, its not even possible. Every moment with my son is perfect. When I was young I never wanted kids. My son has changed my life in so many amazing ways. Every Day I think I only get this day with him once, I live by this. I love his humor, his love and at this age his crazy ass ways. He truly does complete me.

2. What would be your "ideal man" if he existed?

For the record I think he exits, I just don't think he exists right now. I am a very independent, strong minded person. I want a man who not only understands that, but appreciates it. In that same breath I want a man strong enough to handle me, accept me, and calm me in times of my craziness. I always joke about money, but in reality I can make my own. I want a man who isn't jealous. One who is funny, honest and definitely not a hermit. Last but not least....My son has to like him! They don't have to love each other. But if my son doesn't like him there is no chance. Been there done that. I believe my prime age for marriage or settling down is 45. At that time I believe there will be plenty of the men above.

3. You have a list of 35 things to do before you turn 35. If you don't complete them, will it become 40 things to do before you turn 40, and what, if any, will change because of your age?

I will complete my 35 before 35. The list isn't about doing these things because of my age. I made this list to remind myself to make these next few months about me. To give myself an excuse to do things for me. I am going to make it a point to make one of these lists ever year.

4. You love girly-type things, and pink! Name something completely un-girly that you have as some kind of "mannish" secret.

I am very girly. I don't change oil or fix tires and I don't like to get dirty at all. I do love to fish. However, I don't like to bait my hook or take the fish off, sick!!!!! That being said I think its only fair to tell you this. When I go I have a pink pole, pink chair, pink lures and pink ice chest. That is no joke!

5. If you had one dream of yours that could come true, regardless of how outlandish it could be, what would you pick, and why?

If I only had one dream it would be that my son goes to college. That he Finds a nice normal woman and has a life with very few downs. 

Jormen, thank you so much this was a lot of fun. I will pass on the tradition if anyone wants 5 interview questions let me know!

Side Note: Those are my interview shoes.

Tin Truths 21

1. Last night I had frito pie and cookies

2. I am now hooked on Rockstar "shots"

3. I can feel tension in the air everywhere, its a strange feeling

4. I cringe when I drive through the toll road thingy

5. My son turns 14 on Sunday and I am trying to find drums.

6. I think I want a new kitty

7. Stupid people........drive me crazy.

8. Family and Friends have been off lately

9. I love adding machines

10. I don't like it when you take a drink, and you can feel it go all the way down.

Side Note: is it just me or does #7 sound like a country song?

WA #4

Go ahead you know you want to play.

Spoon :: Fed

Dice :: Damp

Mirror :: Mirror

Poster :: Child

Restroom :: Raiders

Creative :: Minds

Mice :: Men

Sex :: Talk

Taffy :: Taker

Lover :: Lock

Side Note: I want that pillow!

duck, duck, goose

Okay not really. Today I got tagged by Linda at "Silly Little Mischief". So here goes.

Make a list of things you can see without getting up:I am in my dream office to many things to list. flowers, candles, pics.

What were you like when you were five? Beautiful, talented, cute.....uhhh probably a brat.

What are you wearing now? a grey amy's ice cream shirt, blue pajama bottoms and a hello kitty bandanna on my head. Not so cute.

What story/book/novel have you read over and over again in your life? Gone with the Wind.

What’s the last thing you read/are currently reading? I hope there's beer in hell.

Do you nap a lot? No hardly ever. For some reason when I nap I wake up in a really, really bad mood.

Who was the last person you hugged? J

What’s your current fandom/obsession/addiction? Jason Miraz

What was the last thing you ate today? Boiled Egg

What was the last thing you said aloud? brown chicken brown cow

What websites do you always visit when you go online? MSNBC, Facebook, Sephora and BOA

What was the last thing you bought? Lip Gloss from Sephora

What are you listening to right now? The Gourds

What movie are (or were!) you most excited to show your kids? E.T.

If you could have any super power, what would it be? Invisibility

What is your favorite weather, and why? Sunny, and 70. I love the sun and a cool breeze always helps.

If you could eat anything right now what would it be? Sushi, Sashimi, Tuna Tartare, Sake, must I go on.

What is your most challenging goal right now? Losing 30 pounds.

Say something to the person who tagged you: Linda, I can't believe you own a snuggie. My step dad would be jealous.

If you could have a house–totally paid for, fully furnished–anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be? Italy

Favorite vacation spot? Vegas Baby

What is your favorite children’s book? Winn Dixie

Name one thing you just can’t resist no matter how bad it is for you: Vodka

If you could meet anyone famous - dead or alive - who would it be? Gus Hansen

What is your Mom's best asset? I wish I had my mom's legs, they are beautiful. love u mom!

TAGGED: You know the drill, whoever wants to play can. 

THE RULES:

Step 1: respond and rework—answer the questions on your own blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, add one more question of your own.

A funny thing happened to me.....

at the bar. This weekend I went to the little neighborhood dive bar. To call it a dive is an understatement. This place is beyond dive but the people are great. SO i sit at the bar and the guy next to me says "wow, is that you. you smell great". I say yes of course I smell amazing. Not really, but you get the point. He then says "I just got a new cologne its called come to me. Does it smell like cum to u". The only reason that this made me laugh is because the guy was very old. Old and still kicking out one liners at the bar, classic.

My cousin called me Friday afternoon to tell me that she had just booked a trip to Paris. She leaves in 5 days, now that is a whim. This reminded me how easy it is to travel. I am adding get a passport, to my 35 before 35.

My mom loves Jason Miraz. I turned her onto him at Christmas and I think that's really cool.

Anyways here are my two deep thoughts for the day.

1. I think its really sad when people rub their face in traffic. Sometimes when I watch people do it I can feel their stress. 

2. WTF is the deal with dateline, 48 hours etc. I realize they want there to be drama, but give me a break. These shows could be wrapped up in like 5 minutes, its grueling to watch. Especially when they take 5 minutes of show time to show you trees in the dark with dunt, dunt, dunt music. UGH!

Side Note: I read over 60 blogs, not even joking. I am always there reading. My mom made a comment that i haven't been commenting enough. So today I vow to make up for it. Sorry yall!

35 before 35..............#9 done

I admit I am off to a slow start on my 35 things to do before I turn 35. #9 was to give a homeless person a meal. I am not even sure why this one was on there, since I do this often.

Two Sunday's ago my cousin and I went to Starbucks and I completed my #9. I have always been the girl to give money and food to the homeless. My mom since I was little has always said give food not money. I bought the gentleman a sandwich, orange juice and a cookie. It makes me happy to know that he had a meal that day and when he said "God Bless You" I knew he meant it.

My dream is too win the lottery, or marry rich...lol. When I do, I will have my own homeless shelter. It wont just be about the shelter, it will be about helping those I can from the inside.

Side Note: 1 down 34 to go.

Tin Truths Twenty

1. Boiled eggs peel easier when you boil them in salt water.

2. On Tuesday, I beat two tables of boys in poker

3. I still need a new inspection sticker.

4. South Beach Diet is going to turn me into a chef

5. Obama's speech gave me goose bumps

6. My nose is raw from allergy's, raw!

7. I am so glad I found my two girlfriends from high school.

8. Still now wine, Still going through withdraw

9. I want to start bike riding, in search of pink bike.

10. My son turns 14 in 9 days, I am old!

Wed WA #3

You Know the drill. The first word that pops in your head.

Chevy :: Ford

Ratchet :: Clank

Moth :: Bugs

Calendar :: Club

Blue :: Balls

Design :: Star

Ink :: Tattoo

Watercolor :: Mom

Trust :: No one

Limp :: In

Side Note: This always cracks me up because I have to come back hour or so later and fill in my own words. Have a wondermus day.

Just a Thought #2

Sometimes I take 3 or 4 baths a day.... and sometimes I refill the bathtub, the same number of times. I have always said that in poker I have no tell, that isn't the case in the real world. If you ever see me get in the bath before 2pm, its a tell,  I am stressed or i am just going to my place. Either way don't invade.... and no, my space wasn't invaded.

I wonder why I do that, why I assume u will think something different. 

Is it because I am jaded?

Yes or No?

I have decided that I hate the word jaded, its overrated and misunderstood. It's not something I want to be or become. Throughout my life, I have only let a few people close to me.  I am loyal to a fault and I expect it from others. I assume the closest people to me wont hurt me, but they do. Not because of there opinions, but for their lack of support. In the same thought I wonder if its that, or  just my unrealistic expectations. 

Do we really want from people, what we give? 

Or is what we give, an excuse not to be judged later?

I don't know the answer,  none of us do. So we take life with a grain of salt and we don't ask why. I am becoming wiser. Watching my mind grow up is amazing and scary, all at the same time. The scary part is that we get older, we grow apart, we come to different conclusions and we make new chapters. My new chapter is starting now. I hope its so great that I never want to stop reading it. Thats the amazing part.

Side Note: No, this isn't about a guy. Just in case u assumed it was, lol.

I suck balls...not really!

Instead of not really, I should have said not literally. But then, all are a lie and yes we suck balls... women that is. Well men too at times. I give up, welcome to my world.

My whole point is that I said I was going to post daily. That didn't happen, I suck and have already screwed that up. 

Today we all get to see history take place. Regardless on where you stand on Obama, there is something to be said about witnessing history. Generally a tragedy takes place and it becomes history, today we watch it happen(history not a tragedy, lmao).

In other news I have lost 8lbs and south beach is going great. I have also realized that I am really good at darts. More on both of these another day. 

Side Note: Tell me one or eight things about your weekend, I would love to know!

Tin Truths 9 Teen

1. I have used my toy a bunch, and I freaking love it.

2. I am the biggest that I have been in years and I will have the weight gone by May.

3. I just realized the other day that washington, dc wasn't in washington. Dont Ask!

4. I am going to Hawaii next January and i want to fit my ass into a thong

5. I havent completed one of  my 35's before 35, I suck

6. Today I have read over 60 blog posts

7. My stocking this year was super cool, my fav gift was my pink mag lite  from my mom. 

8. I have vowed to stop drinking while dieting, well everything but vodka.

9. Its really Tuesday 

10. This is my 190th truth, wowzer.

Side Note: Go ahead give me one truth you know you want too.     

The high 5 seen around the world.

Let me start by saying that I don't like karaoke. I will admit I have been drunk and held my own with "baby got back". However, I don't like watching people that sing bad yet think they sing good. 

This being said you will understand why I DON'T watch american idol. Tonight I watched an hour of this with  my son and I realized two things. 

1. I am still in love with Simon, I want to rip off his white t-shirt and do dirty things to him.

2. Ryan Seacrest is a freaking tool and I am not even joking.

So tonight the last singer is BLIND, he sings amazing and his story is truly inspirational. He makes it to "hollywood" as they say and is given his golden ticket. He walks out the doors of the audition room and his family hugs and screams and there is laughter all around. 

UNTIL-

He turns around and Ryan Seacrest raises his hand to high five him. It was the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen and it was truly uncomfortable for me to watch. Then the tool says "by the way I am giving you a high five right now". My god what an idiot. The only good thing about the show tonight, was watching that moron make a total fool of himself. Its was like watching someone from afar wave at someone they thought they knew, and then witnessing the precious seconds after when they realize they don't.

Side Note: Everyone got mad when I didn't post where to get the "fuck walmart" shirt. So if you like the shirt above you can get it here.

It's a Love/Hate thing.

What I am loving right now. 

1. South Beach Diet- It doesn't feel like a diet, I do feel healthier.

2. Cucumbers w/hummus- Weird, but you wouldn't believe how good this is.

3. Adderall-1/2 a pill Sunday & I cleaned my whole house & made dinner. RX please!

4. Facebook- I found many friends from the past, 2  I hadn't talked to in 16years

What I am hating right now.

1. Wine with drawl- I haven't had wine in 5 days. Lord its a freaking record

2. V8- Every morning you have to have 1/2 a cup. UGHHHHHHHHHHH

3. Sneezing- Over the past 3 days I have been having sneezing attacks. Not fun.

4. Whiny ass people that make work and life hard. 

What are you loving/hating right now?

I love #8

This mascara is the best mascara ever. I cant comment enough on it. Its long lasting, it doesnt clump and it makes your lashes look amazing. I never realized until about a year ago what mascara can do for your eyes and the results are sparkling. Yes I just wanted to say sparkling but you get my drift. 

Lights, Camera, Lashes, by Tarte ($18)

Just a Crazy Here

I am truly lucky to even be alive right now. I am not sure how I made it through it but I did. Exactly one hour ago I drank a full glass of Metamucil and I didn't choke. Now you guys can laugh or think whatever you want but this was very touch and go. I have this little condition called sideefectia. I am sure most of you have already heard of this disease but for those that haven't I will explain. Whenever I read the side effects of a drug, pill, lozenge you name I get them. 

Okay maybe its not sideefectica its fucking hypochondria. 

Tonight I am cracking up as I sit here and write this, because I do realize how freaking crazy I really am.

A few years ago  after drinking an entire glass of metamucil, I read the choking warning. Now for most people that wouldn't be a big deal but for someone like me it was like sucking down insta choke. I could feel my throat closing and I swore I would never drink that shit again. And I didn't till tonight. 

The other day I went to the store and noticed that they had Pink Lemonade flavor and I got it. I figured it would be waterier. ( don't ask me why, i just told you i am a crazy) So tonight I get a huge glass, not even joking. I put a little less than a teaspoon in it and suck it down. When I get to the bottom of the glass I decide hell no, that shit was too thick. However, I was very proud of myself. I didn't read the warnings or anything. 10 minutes pass and I am thinking wow I am in the clear, no episodes. Until, I start sneezing. Not just one sneeze but like 7 sneezes in a row. I grabbed the damn bottle and started to look for allergy warnings and then out of nowhere I started laughing so hard I pretty much peed on myself. So I am here to tell the world that I am a crazy ass, yep no point at all to this post. Just a crazy ass here.

Side Note: No it wasn't freaking waterier, and yes it tasted okay.

Just a Thought

i love to take hot baths 

on cold days

i play with the bubbles 

and make water waves

i listen to nothing 

yet I hear it all

i look at myself

 fat and all

i love who I am 

and who I will be

i am going to find love

love for me

i made a vow

one i cant wait to fill

i will be single 

for at least 1 year from now!

SWF Looking for SMM- 34

----------------------------------------------------

Single white female looking for Single Mute Male.

About me, I am 5'1 1/2, hazel eyes, cute, smart talented, outgoing and funny.

You be- hot, above 6' feet not 6 inches, rich, nice dresser and most importantly a mute. Yes that's right a MUTE. I am tired of the same old bar scene and the blah, blah, blah of most men these days. If you are hot and Mute you are the guy for me. No conversation needed! Just sit there and look hot, pay for my meal and shut the fuck up. 

If this ad interests you please respond with a pic. Thanks, Jag!

-----------------------------------------------------

I am telling you right now. If i ever posted an ad on craigslist that would be my ad, no freaking joke. I really hate the personals side of craigslist, I think it, in itself is an everyday home wrecker. I do however love to read the best of craigslist when I get bored. So for today's tin truths I give you. 

Tin Truths about the men on craigslist.

1. 98% of them cant see their penis

2. Most of them eat people

3. All of them will say they are single, most are married

4. They are not the person in the picture, that person is their uncle, minister someone.

5. This is for the men- "women don't want to see your ugly ass penis" oh crooked one

6. If the their ad has the word normal in it, they rode the short bus

7. If they say they are 30 they are really 45

8. If they say they are 40 they are really 55

9. If they want to offer you a massage they are closet gay and they want to be..........well u know

10. Bottom line if they are on craigslist looking for sex, something is wrong with them.

Side Note: If you or someone you know would like me to write a craigslist ad, I will offer my services for $25 an hour. I am a writer!

Side Note 2: Yes, it's pink duct tape.

Wed WA #2

You know the drill... first word that pops in  your head. I wonder what popped into your head when I said drill and head in the same sentence. Nevermind,  just play already.

Head :: Games

Green :: Lantern

Water :: Babies

Sing :: Song

Death :: Match

Long :: Turn

Ship :: Shot

Count :: Dracula

Window :: Warrior

Friendly :: Fame

Side Note: I really love this game

I hate Walmart..... HATE

I will never understand the people in our lives who get irritated when we are grumpy, when were sick. Go ahead and try to understand that much less say it 3 times fast. So this post isn't going to be all rainbows and unicorns.

I hate Wal-Mart, and I no longer care if people think that makes me a snob. That store sucks ass. I am not sure if its the store I hate or the majority of the people. I went there today because I had to return the playstation 2 that I had got my son for Christmas. Long story short ...I got him the playstation 3 instead, which I love by the way. 

so I go there today to return my item and I decide I am going to walk through the garden section. This way I don't have to walk through hoards of heathen children and freaks who look like they are on acid. Speaking of acid looking freaks, if you are one of these acid freaks don't get all sensitive on me this isn't about you. As I am entering the garden section, troll man stops me and says I cant go through his door with my returns. He says all returns must go through the main doors. At this point my heads starts spinning and green vomit starts protruding out, okay not really. But I did tell this man that I would like to see him stop me. 

I make it to the customer service aka " freak center" and that is when I realized that people are weird. Maybe its that I am hyped up on Nyquil or maybe it was that everyone around me was creeping me the fuck out. I hate that feeling, you know the one where you feel like you are in the middle of an acid party that no one told you about. When you look around you and you wonder are people really this fucked up. 

Anyhow no point to this story, I am still sick, still high on nyquil and still hate walmart.

Side Note: Please tell me that I am not the only one that has seen the freaks come out at walmart.

Suck it FLU!

I am going to try very hard to post every day this year. So while my brain is in "Nyquil Land", I will give it to you old school.

I have decided this year to do a bit of a format. So Mondays will now be for me to ask you what I want to know. 

1. If time machines were real, would you go forward or backward?

I would go forward, I so want to see the future. I want to see the 2200's

2. Do you think Marijuana should be legal?

yes

3. What is one thing you will do differently this year?

stay single.

Side Note: I would sooooooo buy a Nyquil slurpee!

Just A Review...........

I never thought I would be doing a review on a vibrator. I don’t own boxes of sex toys and I’m not a crazy sex addict. I was asked, “What made me think I was qualified to do a review”. I realized I am the perfect person to do these reviews. I’m just a girl, I am honest and I will represent all the 34-year-old women well.

My “Waterproof Jack Rabbit” aka “WJR” was on its way and I didn’t know what to expect. I was told it would ship in 48 hours, and it did. The package is beyond discreet, and the return address is a xyz corporation, stealth mode folks.

I opened the box and there she was in all her glory. I call her she vs. he, because we are a team. The WJR was pink of course, and at first glance was extremely intimidating. My first thought was this thing is huge. I don’t mean like “oh I am so small, huge” I mean like “lord that thing is the size of my arm, huge”. Once I got over the shock I took her out and I felt like I was in a cartoon. Instead of money signs flashing in my eyes it was big “o’s”, lmao.

To read the rest of my review click here.

I have used this a few more times and I love it, sorry mom. I only posted part of my review out of respect to others. If you want to read the full review then please click on the link above. I was cracking myself up the other night. I told my mom that I should be the poster child for Vibrators. I am getting use out of mine and I can't wait to review the next one. I am 34 and this is and was the first time I climaxed from a Vibrator, shocking I know. I cant scream from the rooftops, get a vibrator bitches. But I can let the world know my experiences. 

Side Note: " No animals were harmed or injured during the testing of this product".

HNY

Happy New Year. I decided I was going to start my new year on the 2nd instead of the 1st. 

Typically I don't make new years resolutions. Yes, I might say I want to lose weight or make some other ridiculous resolution but generally by Mid February those thoughts are gone. This year I have decided that 2009 will be the year for me. I will make a conscious decision to do things for me and to make this year about me. Over the past few years I have spent so much of my time worried about other people and worried about other things. I have lost sight of me of what I want of things I need or want to do. Its sad really and it all stops here. I am going to be 35 this year and I am  not wasting anymore time. 

I am excited to see what this new journey bring. I hope its a great year for all.

Side Note: Yes, I have the calendar.