Life is like a box of SSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH

Lets talk about smackers. Not the lip gloss. Not the awesome dr. pepper one that gives you just a hint of color and flavor. Not the cute, pink, makes your lips all glittery and cotton candy kind. The hey I dont know how to close my freaking mouth when I chew kind.

By now you should know that I don't like koolaid mouthed, cheeto fingered, chef boyardee all over the face, heathens. That being said, like and loathe are two different things. Loathe is the feeling I get when I see an adult smacking. It puts me into a shove that hot dog down your throat mode. Or a hey asshole I dont feel like watching your food fly mode.

Clearly when Frito Eater sits next to you, you know you are going to crunchtown. If Tortilla man sits next to you and you think your hearing audio from an updated jiminy cricket tutorial on the inner stomach, there is a problem. Don't even get me started on the foodflying. So for any of you, that may have mush mouths out there, 1. I have a box, 2. if food from your mouth even thinks about entering my box, somebody is going to gumtown.


ToughGirl101 said...

gumtown lol.

Dan da Man said...

I bring a sewing kit with me everywhere that keeps peoples mouth closed

Tiffany said...

My hubby is a spaghetti slurper. I swear I will kill him over it one day.

Slick said...

Ooooooo, got me all scared to sit by you at lunch now!!

Narm said...

I'm not sure shoving a hot dog down my throat is a threat. It sounds my like a delicious favor.

for a different kind of girl said...

Gah! I hate visiting Crunchtown. I hate it!! My husband? I think he's the mayor of Crunchtown. He sometimes moonlights as the mayor in the suburb of Slurpenstan.

(I've got to stop...I could go on and on, because now I am far too in love with saying Crunchtown!)

(I also LOVE Lip Smacker lip glosses. Used to get a sampler tube in my Christmas stocking every year!)

Orion said...

You should sit down at my breakfast table for one morning and listen to mr. 6 yr old eat oatmeal.

It sounds something relatively close to a cow that overdosed on laxatives.

Moe Wanchuk said...

there's nothing more attractive than a woman who protects her "box"

Meg said...

Smackers with double chins are the worst!

Ken said...

Right ON! LMAO.
That crap will put me up a wall in no time!.

But lipgloss with sparkles ........I like!!

just a girl... said...

tg- gumtown even made me crack up

Dan- that doesn't surprise me

tiffany- dont even get me started on the slurpfuckers.


narm- wow, I could go so many places with that comment but I won't

fadkog- Sluperstan had me spitting wine, I freaking love that. Oh and I am ADDICTED to smakers love, love, love them.

orion-I love that you have a 6 year old.

moe- finally someone got the box!!!!!!


ken- i am glad you are finding your inner girly guy

Tasha said...

People tell me I smack my gum. I dont know what their problem is...I dont hear it! :P And speaking of lip smacker, the watermelon kind reminds me of a boy I used to make out with in 9th grade. I saw him at my ten year reunion a few years ago and instantly thought "chapstick!". LOL