I wonder how different my blog would be if I wasn't a mother. I also wonder if my son ever reads my blog, if he will ever talk to me again.
Since he was little he has had what I like to call "restroom ocd". I believe bathroom habits in men start when the sperm is traveling to the egg (aka, its the man's fault). Whenever he goes to the bathroom (use your imagination) (not masturbation folks) he immediately takes a bath or shower after. I have always found this odd but in order not to take away his man card, I have refrained from asking why. Over the years for some strange reason his toilet constantly gets clogged. Me being the great mother I am, have repeatedly told him to use less freaking TP!
A few days ago the toilet clogs again. I graciously tell him he can use mine, but that he needs to ease up on the TP. I explain to him what the proper amount of TP should be, for an average bathroom session. Here is what came next..............
Me: Son, I think you might be using too much TP.
Me: It's not a big deal, I probably didn't show you the proper TP usage as a child.
Me: This is an example of a good amount of TP for an average bathroom session.
Tween: WOW, mom you don't understand.
Me: I understand that you are using too much damn toilet paper.
Tween: Mom, you are a girl and I am a guy.
Me: LMFAO, what does that have to do with anything.
Tween: wow, roll eyes, look at me like I am a freaking idiot, then says MOM, girls don't have hair on their butt and I am sorry, but if you think I am going to be one of those skid mark kids, I am telling you right now that is just sick and its not happening.
What do you say to that, I was laughing so hard that he actually got mad at me and refused to use my bathroom. So their you go, my life would be nothing without these daily occurrences.