It is what it is

I get that it's summer. I get that I live in a kid friendly neighborhood. I also understand parents wanting to shove their kids out the doors as early as possible.

Here is what I don't get.

Why are the kids at these lemonade/snack/hey come by my crappy ass koolaid stand, always HEATHENS. I am not just talking about barefoot, I am talking about koolaid mouth, orange cheeto fingered heathens. 

No, I don't want to buy $0.10 koolaid out of a dirty dixie cup covered in cheeto remnants. I also am smart enough to know that you don't really want $0.10 you want a dollar. You are not a wholesale koolaid broker. Chances are you barely have change for $0.25. I also don't want to hear you wailing koolaid for a 5 hour period. Here are some things to help you, help your kid in his entrepreneurship.

1. Raise the price of the damn koolaid 
2. Show them how to flag down effectively (screaming when my car window is up, isn't working)
3. Set expectations- standing out there at 2pm in the afternoon is only going to get you sunburn
4. Have products for your target market- like jello shots, jager bombs, or cold beer on ice.
5. Let the cool, clean kid do the talking.

Just my $0.02!


Learn To Park said...

I never made any money when I tried selling KoolAid. Of course, it was only last month that I tried. Looking back, I probably wouldn't buy a beverage from a grown up sitting half nude in the back of a van either.

But I have great expectations for my road side tea bagging service! Two bucks for a double dip! How can you go wrong?

Dan da Man said...

I had a lot of people come to my stand of course they were all cops

here is a tip do not advertise your stand by running around the street naked it doesnt end well

wormbrain said...

How to compete with other lemonade stands (wikihow)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

You are a good complainer! Why? Because you don't just complain, but you offer up solutions for the idiocy that makes up our society of fellow humans with whom we must live. I'll even bet you vote, don't you?

Also? You get extra points for using "crappy ass" in two consecutive posts.

I know I'm new here, but what is this WSOP of which you speak?

just a girl... said...

Learn- I am so in on the tea bagging, I think you are cutting yourself short.

Dan- I would think running around naked would be great for business. Oh thats right you are a man.

Wormbrain- I love that you found that. Amazing what on the web these days.

Nanny-That comment alone could be a blog. You writing is beautiful even in comments, I am jealous.

Tracie said...

That was the most amazing and humorous post I've ever read! I LOVE LOVE it... seriously, I'm debating on leaving my husband to run away with that post... hummm...NOW, what shall I wear to the "commitment ceremony"?