Report 1 of many to come

The quicker-picker-upper my ass. How about the quicker-paper-waster that one fits a little better. I don't like washcloths, they seem too "apron in a kitchen like" to me. Now, if you wear aprons in your kitchen, save it, I am not judging. I am simply not the Susie homemaker type. I think washcloths are gross and filthy. Little mini salmonella carriers that stink and are slimy as hell.

Because of this I use paper towels and a lot of them. I buy the wipes, the disposable scrubs and yes rolls and rolls of paper towels. Normally it takes about 3-5 paper towels for any given mess. Then another 2-3 to double dry the mess and then another 2-3 to dry my hands. This goes on all day. I don't buy the freaking tear a sheet crap either. All this does is double my paper towel usage.

The other day Bounty was on sale, which is just crazy in itself. The shitty economy makes the most expensive paper towel get cheaper, crazy. So I bought it. I have seen the commercials just like the rest of you. You toss the egg 88 feet in the air and catch it in the towel bs. Better yet the spill a bottle of wine on the floor and use "one bounty sheet" to pick it up (rolling my own eyes here).

Well I hate to tell you but yes its absorbent and yes its strong. Maybe a little too damn strong. I am finally on my last roll and here is the report. After 6 rolls I now have Carpel Tunnel from trying to rip those bastards off the roll. I have prematurely thrown away hundreds maybe even thousands of paper towels before they were ready. I have ran out of TP twice and force fed my toilets these bath towels, and they weren't very pleased. I feel like I have violated my local land fill not to mention my environment. So thanks but no thanks! I will stick to my cheap ass see through paper towels and be just fine.

Side Note: You want to know what my biggest fear is, Salmonfreakingella. It doesn't usually look so nice, but no ugly pics allowed.


RPM said...

You want to go to paper towel heaven? Buy some Scott's Shop Towels. They'll soak up anything from spilt milk to axle grease.

They'll soak up spilt milk AFTER soaking up axle grease!

Lesley said...

lol @ rpm
You probably saved a lot of people money by testing the paper towls for them... :-)

Ken said...

The MASTER has done it again, I can't believe you are single....oh yea your in Texas. never mind. lol

Moe Wanchuk said...

I can't see myself ever getting carpel tunnel, especially in my right hand.
For some reason, and I can't figure out for the life of me, my right hand/forearm is twice as big as my left.

Tracie said...

**giggle at moe's comment**

I use the cheap ass paper towels too... why you may ask?

A) They are what? 50 cents a roll
B} The less laundry I have to do the better
C) I too also have a sall-a-whatever fear

I'm in a "list" mood today...

Dan da Man said...

I don’t use paper towels I just use whatever neighborhood dog decided to wander into my yard

They work well but they are loud and try to bite I think I need to get some sleeping gas or something

NucMEd is Hot said...

I LOVE Bounty! I buy it at Costco in I think 12 roll packs and I always buy two at a time.

I have washclothes but I'm all about the Bounty!

I also have the shop towels and they too are fabulous.

GoteeMan said...

Bounty Select-A-Size... and then I use like 4 of them at a time...


Heather said...

I buy paper towels but we use them sparingly. I never use them to clean the counters or stove. I have a huge stack of cloth "rags" (none of which are at all ragged) and only use paper towels for the toilet or floor. I bet those bounty towels would be great for the swiffer mop. I already use paper towels for that in the bathroom but have to layer two of them because they tear. I again use fabric for the kitchen floor.